WHAT IS A SOUL MIDWIFE OR DOULA?
We explore the valuable work of end-of-life companions...
Quite simply, soul midwives and end-of-life doulas educate and support people and their loved ones on the dying process and what to expect,” says Felicity Warner, founder of Soul Midwives.
“Just as doulas and midwives help bring life into the world, it makes perfect sense that they should support us as we leave it,” she adds.
The death of her grandmother – who had looked after her since the age of six – had a profound effect on Felicity. “She developed lung cancer when I was thirteen and very gradually, I became her carer. I visited her in hospital the night she died a year later and was shocked at the cold, sterile room she was in, harshly lit by stark overhead lights, and the smell of disinfectant. I wished I could take her home, stroke her head, play her favourite music with the cat at the end of her bed. I vowed there and then, that eventually, I would help people to die gently, knowing they were loved, in a peaceful, soft and loving atmosphere.”
Felicity became a health journalist specialising in palliative care and, while volunteering at a local hospice, the spark behind soul midwifery fanned into a flame. “I spent many hours sitting with patients facing death – particularly those with no family or friends to visit – and realised that many felt frightened and isolated,” she explains. “I found that using simple techniques involving human touch and tenderness, such as massage with essential oils, combined with music and creative visualisations, really helped to soothe and reassure.”
She began informally “teaching” hospice staff these skills and outlined her philosophy in a book – Gentle Dying. As word spread, she began delivering training in end-of-life care in Dorset, where she lives. Now, 25 years on and several awards
later, soul midwives can be found in hospitals, hospices, care facilities, and people’s own homes.
TheSoulMidwives’ Handbook is widely used by complementary therapists and in medical and nursing schools.
End-of-life doulas work similarly, although the training is quite different, explains Emma Clare, who has a degree in psychology and worked as a carer before becoming a doula four years ago. “We come from all walks of life, although most are from caring professions, such as nursing and midwifery. And everyone undergoes a rigorous, minimum 18-month training programme with Living Well, Dying Well ( LWDWTRAINING.UK).”
End-of-life doulas and soul midwives have similar but slightly different roles. Midwives offer more therapeutic and spiritual support – although they’re not aligned with any particular faith or religion – while doulas fill gaps and offer specific, practical support depending on the needs of the individual.
This could be anything from making the bed to helping to navigate the maze of health, social care and government agencies, explains Emma. Doulas also work with elderly people and those living with dementia, she adds. “We are there at any stage – from the beginning when a person is told they have a terminal illness through to the final months and weeks, and beyond to funeral planning.”
Patients are called “friends” from the point of diagnosis, says Felicity. “We can advise them of their choices and help them work on an end-of-life wish plan. This often enables them to really ‘live’ and enjoy life until their health deteriorates. We can also help create lasting mementoes to leave behind as keepsakes.
One lady recorded herself reading HarryPotter so that her grandchildren could hear her voice once she had gone.”
Soul midwives offer to remain at the bedside at the very end. “Everyone I work with is treated with the same level of love that I would give to a dying member of my own family,” says Felicity.
“Everyone is treated with the same level of love I would give my family ”