‘Me time’ helps them as well
WHEN I was pregnant with my second child people told me that “you never have two the same”. In my naiveté I thought: “Well they won’t be that different. After all, they are coming from the same people.” Turns out I was so very wrong.
While my daughter entered this world resembling the scene from The Lion King when they hold Simba high in the air with just a little squeak to acknowledge her arrival, my son came into the world red-faced, angry and screaming the hospital walls down!
He never wanted to be out of my arms, slept on me day and night and, in truth, I never wanted to let him go.
I was much more relaxed the second time around and I knew how time just goes so fast so I wanted to make the most of it even if that meant I didn’t get out much.
As he grew into toddlerhood the terrible twos came early for Heath, he would head-butt the floor, his cot railings or even the wall when things didn’t go his way and he refused to let me out of his sight. Fast-forward to him being three and the head-butting has stopped but the temper remains and I’m pretty sure the terrible twos go past actual two!
This past week I was faced with a three-year-old who refused to attend nursery, which isn’t at all like him as he adores his nursery, I was also faced with a toddler who refused to sleep and as the week went on my tiredness grew and so did my husband’s. Sleep deprivation is truly horrible. Each day I was battling sluggishness and depression because I wasn’t getting out and walking the dogs, I wasn’t getting my yoga sessions. Nope, I was dealing with my demanding and difficult son and I felt like I couldn’t do anything right.
Often it can feel wrong to admit that we like our child-free days. If you’re anything like me then you relish them because it’s a chance to be you, doing your thing. We all need that – it doesn’t make us bad parents. In fact, when you do get “your time” I believe it makes you a better parent because your cup is full so you have energy, patience and time.
As the week drew to an end I really didn’t think things could get much worse but a trip to the local shop proved otherwise and as my son tormented the locals by beeping my car horn over and over again a woman turned to me and said: “It’s OK not to like your kids, love. I mean you love them and that’s what matters but you don’t have to like them all the time.”
Kelly Pegg is a journalist and broadcaster working who hosts the podcast The Hot Mess Mums’ Club with TV presenter Jenny Powell. You can find it on Instagram @thehotmessmums