Precious moments of love
A VERY close friend of mine is going through a really hard time. Her father is seriously ill and has very little time left.
Her parents have been married for more than 60 years and in that time they have spent just a week or two apart.
The thought of that kind of love and commitment being torn apart by death is heartbreaking. The situation got me thinking about love, life, death and what it all means.
It’s so overwhelming and it is naturally much more comfortable to wade through life not thinking about the inevitable.
I believe we must live each day grateful for the day and what it brings. I don’t believe in looking ahead too much and looking back can be painful, so I put my focus and energy into living each day well. I’d be lying if I said I manage to do that all the time, though.
I have days where I worry about mortality and ageing, and I have days where I look back and have regrets.
Loving someone is a doubleedged sword, isn’t it? It’s the most wonderful thing to find your soulmate and spend your life with them but to know one day that you won’t always be together just doesn’t seem comprehendible.
You share everything – a home, property, children – then all of sudden one is left alone with it all. Being the romantic I am I guess I prefer not to think about it and if I do I tell myself that real love goes on forever in this life and the next.
One of my favourite poets, Beau Taplin, says that the single most remarkable thing about love is the way it is doomed to pain and loss from its onset. If we all really thought like that though we wouldn’t allow ourselves to fall in love, would we?
My friend’s situation certainly gives me pause for thought. My husband is my world – we speak at least three times every day on the phone when he’s at work. We text throughout the day and if one of us is struggling the other will always be there.
We get excited over our shows on Netflix, we accept each other’s bad habits, we don’t like going out without each other. You could say we live for each other.
It is the kind of marriage I always dreamed of so, yes, that makes me very lucky and sadly it takes something like my friend’s situation for me to give myself the time to think about it.
We are all so busy that it’s easy to take partnerships for granted but there are no guarantees. Cherishing that love should be something we strive to do daily. ■■ Kelly Pegg is a journalist and broadcaster who lives in Nottinghamshire with her family. She hosts the podcast The Hot Mess Mums’ Club with TV presenter Jenny Powell. You can find it on Instagram @ thehotmessmums