Podcast duo trying to unravel dating dilemmas in lockdown
PHIL AND LIZZ DRAW ON OWN EXPERIENCES IN SEARCH OF LOVE
A NOTTINGHAM-BASED duo has launched a podcast shedding light on lockdown love and dating dilemmas.
The platonic pair of Phil Ward and Lizz Summers, both 34, have utilised their shared experiences as well as their differing dating habits, to help others feel less alone in the world of courtship.
Unhinged and Bumbled Up – a nod to two of the many dating apps now available – aired for the first time on April 5 and the show is now on its sixth episode with a second series already in the pipeline.
The podcast was originally the brainchild of serial dater and dad-ofone Phil, but after inviting dating detoxer Lizz on to the show as a guest, the pair decided to join forces.
Speaking to the Post, the duo explained how they had both found themselves sick of the online dating hamster wheel, particularly during the past year.
Lizz moved to Nottingham during lockdown and after months of attempts in the dating world, she decided to go cold turkey for a ear.
“I started an Instagram to sort of journal the experience, and it became a sort of passion project,” she said.
“Phil then found me and invited me on to his first episode, and I just had the best time.
“We had a similar catalogue of experiences.”
Phil added: “My marriage broke up two years ago, and I dipped in and out of dating.
“Lizz and I both agreed on just how bad ‘walking dates’ are and it seemed a lot of people just resonate with what we talk about.”
The dreaded “walking date” is discussed in the first episode as something for the 2020 Bin (think Room 101) due to its spectacular awkwardness and having nowhere to escape, as the conversation dries up with five miles still to go.
But the only other option for singles to mingle is through online dating and apps, but the pair agreed even this had become too much for many.
Lizz said: “Apps definitely have a time and a place, but they are usually part of a number of ways to meet someone, not a standalone thing.
“What we have seen is lockdown has really brought the worst out in online dating because people weren’t using it the same anymore.
“For me, I found it had become overwhelming, and I was spending so much time using it and just wanted to focus that energy on myself, my friends and family.”
Phil added: “There seems to have been two paths people have taken – turbo relationships of couples bubbling up and buying homes together really soon. Or serial one-off hookups.
“The only real dating anyone could do was walking, which Lizz and I both tried and hated.”
Within each episode, you can also expect to hear dating phrases such as:
■ “Glamboozled” – getting dressed up for a date only to be stood up
■ “Breadcrumbing” – being led along by a trail of minimal attention
■ “Zombie-ing” – the phase after “ghosting’ when someone who made “a vanishing act decides to reappear.
Talking about their plans for future podcast episodes, particularly as the dating scene is likely to change dramatically in the coming months, Phil and Lizz said they are keen to explore it all.
Lizz said: “We are both looking forward to things opening up more – I have already been tempted to break my no dating year – but also getting to talk about those real-life dating moments like who pays for the meal.
“I think as soon as people can do what they like, the quick flings and hookups will go mad.
“But I also think the past year has reinforced the need for meaningful companionship especially for those who have maybe been living alone.”
Phil said: “We have plans to interview more people in our episodes to ensure its as inclusive as possible – we have already covered dating while going through a divorce, dating when you have children. “We’d like to branch out to LGBT dating, dating when you have a disability.
“Even when the circumstances are different, what we’ve found is all our experiences are very similar and transferable.” While both Phil and Lizz live in Nottingham and rarely go a day without speaking or recording together, the pair have actually yet to meet up in person. But both agree, the city is a prime location for gettogethers – romantic or otherwise – and a great place to explore solo. “Nottingham has a mix of great nightlife and adventure activities,” Phil said.
“The city is also quite close-knit and easy to get around.
“The only problem at the moment is dating can’t be as spontaneous as you need to book everything in advance!”
Lizz added: “Having moved from a small town the amount of variety in Nottingham is great, and there are such lovely green spaces like Wollaton Park.”
Phil added: “I’ve even had a kayak date on the River Trent once.
“Nottingham is also geographically great for all the neighbouring cities too. It’s not unforeseeable to meet people from outside of Nottingham because it’s so easy to get to.
“There’s also a lot of people drawn here for the universities which brings an eclectic mix and you end up meeting people who are actually from all over.”
The Unhinged and Bumbled Up podcast releases a new episode every Sunday at midnight and is available to listen to online and across most podcast platforms.
I think as soon as people can do what they like, the quick flings and hookups will go mad Lizz Summers