Why not cut out main courses?

GIVEN its target audience, the survey was bound to draw a large and enthusiastic response.

“If you could only choose one, would you have a starter or a dessert?” asked the Silversurfers Facebook page. And within 24 hours, 2,200 followers had placed their orders.

Well, what else have we to get excited about, this audience of, shall we say, people closer to the end of life than the beginning, except going out for a meal?

But even that’s no longer a simple pleasure.

We simply can’t manage the mass of food we once put away with impunity. Where once we’d have downed a few pints before demolishing a full-blown Indian, with a few glasses of red, we now feel stuffed after the poppadums and pickles.

There’s far too much meat for one person in that curry! And you have to choose between half a portion of rice or a naan, with a glass of water (tap, of course) to make sure it doesn’t get stuck on its way down.

Stomach size isn’t the only barrier. There are allergies and gut sensitivities to consider. How come onions and tomatoes suddenly get argumentative when you reach a certain age?

By now, I can confidently say that my readership has shrunk to the Silversurfers demographic (if it was ever anything but) so you might understand my excitement on reading the survey responses.

I gave up after about 300, but discovered a small minority in favour of starter instead of dessert, with the latter citing sticky toffee pudding and cheesecake as favourites, and the former salivating over battered mushrooms and French onion soup. Choice didn’t come into it for one woman, though: “Dessert,” she declared. “One as a starter, one as a main and one as a dessert.”

But what struck me most was the large number who said they’d skip the main course altogether and have both starter and dessert. Not only that, they’d ordered such a combo.

“I often ask if I can miss out the main course,” one woman said. “My family think I’m weird,” said another, “as I prefer starter and dessert. As I’ve got older, I eat less.”

Those fearless feasters put me to shame. For years I’ve paraded the banner of grumpy old man and now I realise what a wimp I’ve been.

Many’s the time I would have skipped the main course, but some innate sense of English politeness made me pick one I didn’t want. I’m now emboldened.

Next time I dine out, if I want a starter and a pudding but no main, that’s what I’ll expect – if that’s all right with the restaurant, you understand. I wouldn’t want to put them to too much trouble!