Some more ‘equal’ than others

STARING out at me from a social media post was the face of a cow. Or it might have been a bull.

Without seeing its undercarriage, a townie like me can’t tell, and I don’t want to get into trouble with the animal rights movement over gender identity.

I’ll leave that to the farmers who pat the stragglers of their herd on the buttocks with a wellintentioned “c’mon, girl”, never knowing whether Daisy feels more akin to the big boy in the next field.

I can safely say that the picture on Facebook showed a bovine beast, and a fine-looking specimen it was.

But overlaid on the picture was a message: “I am no less than you”.

Oh, come on! So, this creature could operate my mobile phone, could it? Or drive my car? On the other hand, I’d struggle to give milk or produce a good steak and am only good at chewing the cud when sinking a few beers with other old duffers. But seriously: equals?

And then the penny dropped. It was an advert for vegan food and it wasn’t aimed at me personally but at humans in general, though this only made the comparison more ridiculous. Cows in space? Painting the Sistine Chapel? Conducting a symphony?

Hardly. And, of course, I’m being ridiculous.

But such messages don’t do the cause of veganism much good because the unconverted will simply take the mickey, just as they do with ads for “vegan fried ‘chicken’” and other dishes whose very name keeps alive the idea of eating animals.

I’ve no beef with people who refuse to eat animal products. I hope they find a happy gut and a clean conscience. Indeed, they might one day be in the majority, judging by the menu for an innercity pub-diner I spotted recently, where meat and fish dishes were outnumbered by vegan offerings.

But to suggest that animals and humans are of equal value is plain silly because, however cruel man might be, we rule the world. And, while being compassionate to lesser creatures is admirable, equality would presumably mean letting them do what they wanted. Picture the ensuing chaos, not to mention famine among man and beast.

Which brings me to a question that’s long troubled me: if mankind were to stop farming and eating animals, what would become of them? Who would look after all the cows and sheep and chicken if they couldn’t make money from them?

Many species would eventually disappear – and the humans who regard them as furry friends and enjoy the privilege of being able to choose what to eat would be left with fewer “equals” on the planet.