‘IT WASN’T LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT FOR ME AND MY HUSBAND’
ELLIE GOULDING GIVES US AN INSIGHT INTO MARRIED LIFE AND REVEALS WHY SHE CAN’T WAIT TO TRAVEL THE WORLD AGAIN
It’s been five years since Ellie Goulding released her last album Delirium and it’s fair to say a lot has changed for the star since then. She met art dealer Caspar Jopling, 28, in 2017, announced their engagement 18 months later and enjoyed a star-studded wedding last summer – attended by Sienna Miller, Ed Sheeran and Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie.
Talking about the early days of their romance, Ellie says the pair were very shy on their first date at an art exhibition. “Thank God we had things to look at because I don’t think we said a single word to each other on the date,” she laughs.
The happy couple are set to celebrate their one-year wedding anniversary next month, but Ellie insists marriage hasn’t changed her. “I really thought there was going to be more of a profound change in my life when I got married but it just feels very natural,” she says.
In fact, Ellie says she still relishes her own space so much that she has moved back to London while Caspar finishes studying in Oxfordshire, after the pair spent lockdown together.
“I love my husband, but I also love myself. I can read a book. I can go for a run,” she explains.
The singer, 33, first burst onto the scene in 2009 and has become
a household name thanks to her incredible songs about love and life. Opening up about her writing style, Ellie admits she’s found a way to turn her sadness into creativity. “I think I definitely used to deal with it [sadness] in a different way that was more destructive rather than productive. But you get to a point where you navigate those feelings towards something more positive,” she explains.
Here, the star opens up about her relationship with sadness, the early days of romance with her husband and how she tries to use her platform for good...
How did you find lockdown with your husband Caspar?
We found a way to make it work. I worked upstairs and he was in the office. I’ve been doing lots of walking and running, too. I think I’m naturally more of a solitary person so I like to be on my own when I write. I’m looking forward to seeing if this lockdown has changed the way that I write.
Are you in great shape after all that running? I wouldn’t say that. I’ve definitely maintained fitness but I wouldn’t say I’m at the height of my fitness because I’d like to mix it up a bit more and do some boot camps or go and do some boxing. So I haven’t been able to mix it up that much, but hopefully soon that will change.
Has marriage changed anything for you? To be honest, I really thought there was going to be more of a profound change in my life when I got married but it just feels very natural. It feels the same as always but with an extra kind of stability and an extra level of friendship. I think if you have a partner you’re very harmonious with, I don’t think your life should change that much. I don’t think you’re supposed to change for the worse when you get married! Maybe that’s why people get divorced because they realise they are not themselves. You’ve got to be a better version of yourself.
Was it love at first sight when you met Caspar?
No, it wasn’t like that. It was very much a friendship for a long time. I think we knew after six or seven months that we were going to be serious.
You moved to New York for him in 2017. What was that like?
Caspar was working there at the time so I moved for a bit. I was happy with the change of lifestyle. I was happy to move away from London. It was great at the time but I don’t know if I’d live there again. It’s pretty overwhelming and you have to have a strong stomach for that place.
How long did you last there?
About two years on and off – I’d go back and forth a bit.
Was he happy to move back to the UK? Yeah, because he’s English anyway and he came back here to study. I think he felt like his time there was done. There’s only so much time you can spend there, I think, unless you’re really committed to New York. It’s one of those places you go for a few years and then go home again.
What lessons did you take home with you from New York?
I think I just appreciated where I came from. The English countryside, even the food and everything. I missed just habitual things, like baked beans and silly stuff – just little quirks, little food quirks. But also stepping out on the street in New York is very intense and it’s a lot to take in. I think you’re either in it or you’re not.
Your new album is called Brightest Blue.
What does the colour blue mean to you? Blue is quite a joyful colour considering it’s associated with being depressed and down in the dumps. There definitely is a melancholy tone to the album with the lyrics and it’s certainly not like, “Let’s all forget our problems.” It’s kind of my way of having this illumination that felt like I could prosper in the sadder times. That’s what I’ve always managed to do – to get myself out of those sad times by writing and by getting my feelings out.
Is this something you’ve discovered about yourself over the years?
It just took a lot of practise and experience because I think I definitely used to deal with it [sadness] in a different way that was more destructive, rather than productive. But you get to a point where you navigate those feelings towards something more positive. I try to make the most out of that sadness. I’ve had certain things in my childhood and my teenage years that have happened that have contributed to the way I see things. I think my main concern is always learning, listening and always trying to understand feelings and why I feel certain things – anger and resentment, whatever.
How much therapy is involved in writing a new album?
I did separate myself a lot more from it this time. Maybe because I’m just a bit older and wiser than I used to be. My songs would just be written straight out of sadness with no middle thought, with no separation and just chaotic thoughts. But this time, I was able to process it a bit more within my head and so I could have more of a rationality behind it and write with a purpose instead of just writing whatever came into my head.
It’s been five years since your last album. Did you want to take your time?
Yeah, I think so. There definitely were certain things that set me back. I felt like I was in a place where the songs were not reaching, they weren’t strong enough in my opinion. So I waited until I was properly ready and emotionally equipped. I also had technical stuff, like a change of management, I moved back to London and I got married. So lots of things happened in that time and it’s only really now that I feel like I’m completely ready to embrace that life again.
There’s a lot going on in the world right now. Do you feel there’s a responsibility that comes from being in the public eye?
I think so. I used to get quite frustrated that because I was a singer, I had to be a spokesperson or had to be an activist. I don’t think that’s necessarily true, however, in cases of things that desperately need attention, education and acknowledgement, I couldn’t post pictures of myself and not then use my platform for the greater good. So I believe in that and I think there’s definitely been a lack of artists talking about things. I understand because it’s tricky sometimes when you feel like everything rests on the success of your career and things like that. I get that some people are worried about jeopardising their livelihoods, but there are some things I think you can’t stay quiet on.
What are your plans for the rest of the year? The ideal for me would be to just travel as soon as possible. I miss it very much. It’s going to be strange to go on a plane again. I have some friends in America I’d love to see. I’d love to be in Los Angeles again, just to see some people and do some music stuff over there. I don’t know, I’d love to just start cracking on with touring the album a bit.
‘new york was pretty overwhelming – you have to have a strong stomach for that place’