The anniversary of Jade’s death is hard every year but we always talk about her
TV presenter and personality Jeff Brazier tells about turning 40, and being protective of his teenage sons DOCTOR’S NOTES
PRESENTER Jeff Brazier has raised his sons, Bobby Jack and Freddie, alone since his former partner – their mother, reality TV star, Jade Goody – died of cervical cancer, aged, 27, in March 2009.
Ten years on, Jeff says he’s able to celebrate the fact their boys, who were only five and four years old when he became their sole parent, are happy, well-adjusted teenagers of 16 and 15.
Down-to-earth, sincere, and caring, he’s studied grief and bereavement and made it his mission to help others cope with loss – he’s a qualified life coach and author of The Grief Survival Guide: How To Navigate Loss And All That Comes With It (Hodder & Stoughton).
Jeff notes that his sons are “coming of age now,” and “have grown into wonderful young men. I’m hugely proud of them.”
While he describes the last 10 years as “tremendously difficult – that’s the only way I can really put it,” he adds that, “there have been ups and downs, but we’ve come through it together.”
Helping people is, he says, at the heart of his life, and he’s supporting McDonald’s’ UK campaign to help raise money for Ronald McDonald House Charities who give ‘home away from home support’ to families with children in hospital.
“I know as a parent how protective you feel about your children and I feel real empathy when talking to parents who need to be close to their children when they’re very ill,” he explains.
“Being of value is so important to me – and it’s so rewarding and fulfilling. Generally, I think, we underestimate the amount of good we do for ourselves by helping others.”
Jeff opens up about some of the challenges and major life changes he’s faced...
THE anniversary is hard every year and also coincides with Mother’s Day, by a cruel coincidence. It stirs up a lot for the boys. But whether it’s 10 years, 20 years or 30 years, we’ll always be talking about Jade because ultimately, that’s where the boys came from.
My job is to be respectful to her and to her memory by ensuring she lives on through her kids.
I don’t have to do much because it’s impossible to take that away as she was so unique, special and important, and hugely successful in many ways.
She was also very real and learnt some harsh lessons through her mistakes, but that’s the same for all of us.
ULTIMATELY they made the decision not to see it, after I and their godparents talked to them about it and told them what we felt.
I look forward to Bobby and Freddie learning more about their mother’s life, but not now via the documentary. It would have been an emotional overload and not the right way for them to remember their mum.
It’s difficult enough for them as it is, and while half of it would be amazing for them to watch, half of it would be fairly devastating.
It pretty much brought up every bad thing, as well as every good thing.
I DON’T really get hung up on numbers – I feel like the kids are catching me up rather than me getting older! I’ve noticed a few signs of ageing – more lines around my eyes, but I’m not paying any attention. I honestly believe I’m going to live to 111 because I look after myself and don’t put anything I shouldn’t into my body. I’m a positive person who believes it’s good to aim for a goal, living a long life is mine.
BEING married makes you feel more settled, but life doesn’t feel much different because Kate has a wonderful career in PR where she works very hard and long hours, so it’s still just me and the boys at home a fair bit. I’m not sure whether we’ll have children. I had thought when we got married we’d go straight in (on starting a family) but there’s seems to have been a change of heart about that, and a need for a little more time before those decisions are made. I’m just as happy if we do or don’t, and I’m content to be patient and let Kate figure that out.
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