It was the best Christmas ever
Lynn and Barry’s joy over adoption of their wee boy
A couple who adopted a baby boy when he was just weeks old have said welcoming him into their family four years ago was the best festive season ever.
Lynn and Barry Cook have lovingly created a special gift for their four-year-old son that they will hand over when they think he’s old enough.
But it’s no ordinary present – instead it’s a life story box full of mementos and photographs to explain his background to him later in life.
The couple, from Renfrew, adopted their son when he was just 11 weeks old and are sharing their story as part of Adoption Week Scotland.
They say that Christmas four years ago was the most special festive season ever as just days earlier their baby boy came to live with them.
After three failed rounds of fertility treatment, the couple had decided that adoption was the way forward for them.
They registered their interest in becoming adoptive parents with Renfrewshire Council and were visited by a social worker in the first step of the process.
Barry, 39, said: “When he’s old enough we will sit down and have a proper conversation with him.
“Being able to have our son has changed our lives. We had already talked about adoption when it became clear there were issues with us conceiving. The fertility treatments were hard on Lynn and we decided not to go down that road any further.”
The next step was attending preparation groups, which are set up to ensure prospective adopters are equipped for the reality of parenting. The groups also allow them to meet others who have already successfully adopted.
Barry said: “It’s almost like training in the kind of things you can expect and also like an informal interview with social workers.
“They present the realities and make it clear that there is some hard work involved and that children will come from a variety of backgrounds with sometimes traumatic experiences.
“After the first session we actually laughed because our brains were so full of information.
“The great thing, though, was hearing the stories of other adopters, because you were hearing the ups and downs of reallife situations – warts and all – and it just brought it to life.”
Eighteen months after those first preparation group, the couple’s social worker contacted them to say they had a child in mind for them – an 11-week-old baby boy.
Barry said: “Our situation is fairly unique as it’s very unusual to get a baby. We also got to name him which was pretty special.”
Lynn added: “No matter how prepared you think you are, it turns your life upside down. But we absolutely loved it.
“Because he was so young, we weren’t worried that we wouldn’t bond with him and we got lots of information from the foster carers he’d been with. We still visit them to this day because they love hearing what our son’s getting up to.
“We wanted to keep in touch because we thought it was an important part of his story.”
Their wee boy, who is now four, started nursery school in November last year.
Barry added: “We’ve had a lot of support from the social work adoption team and that’s still ongoing if we need it.
“There’s a lifelong commitment from them to you and your child.
“Some people want to adopt and get on with their own life, but we’ve kept in touch with some of the other couples we met during the process.
“It’s great to chat about how they’ve dealt with certain issues, especially with some of the ones who have older children. “
Renfrewshire’s Council education and children’s services convener Councillor Jim Paterson said applications from people of different backgrounds and situations will be considered.
“We are committed to ensuring all children reach their full potential, and for some that means joining new families who can give them the love, care and security their birth family are unable to provide.
“Our experienced adoption team is on hand to guide families through the process and beyond.
“I’m delighted that the Cooks have shared their story, because as well as having a positive impact on the lives of young people and children, adoption benefits communities and society as a whole by giving children a better future,” he explained.
To become an adopter you don’t have to be a parent or have any parenting experience, and applicants from any religious or cultural background are welcome.
You can be unemployed and can be single, married, cohabiting, or in a civil partnership and can own or rent your property.
Prospective adopters need to be 21 or over, have a spare room and be in good health.
Adoption Week Scotland runs until Friday and aims to raise awareness.
An information event is being held at Glasgow’s Mitchell Library on Thursday from 3pm to 6pm.
If you think you can provide a loving home for a child, please phone 0300 300 1199 or send an email to childrenandfamilies@ renfrewshire.gov.uk
Being able to have our son has changed our lives Barry Cook