Working to strike the right balance at home
After months of homeworking during the pandemic, the lines between our professional and personal lives have blurred. Many of us have work laptops on our dining tables, work emails arriving on our mobiles at all times of the day, and evenings and weekends that look suspiciously like work days.
“It’s important to re-establish the division,” says psychologist Niels Eek, co-founder of mental health platform Remente (remente.com).
There will be times when working longer hours is necessary, but a consistent, long-standing lack of boundaries around what you can and can not achieve in your working hours is a slippery slope to burnout.
“Having no boundaries is an invitation to be overwhelmed,” adds Nic Marks, therapist, CEO of
Friday Pulse and developer of the Happiness Test.
Signs you don’t have good work boundaries Nic says red-flag habits include sending emails at odd hours, not taking breaks, constantly working, giving instant replies to everything, and not being able to delegate or collaborate.
“If overtime is constant and work pressure never relents, you might have a problem,” he warns. Taking everything on yourself not only leaves you exhausted but possibly “angry, resentful and even guilty”.
“Personal relationships might be in a mess,” he adds. Or if you feel close to the edge, like you might snap and pack in your job at a moment’s notice – it’s a massive sign something needs to change.
Work and self-worth
“So much of our lives and social interactions focus on what we do for a living,” says Niels. “From a young age, people ask what you want to do when you grow up.
“As adults, many conversations start with the question, ‘What do you do?’ so our jobs become a key way that people learn about us. This can add to the pressure to have an impressive career to point to as an indicator of success, or validation.
“While working remotely, the pressure to be available around the clock means people may be more likely to define themselves by their profession.”
If your view of yourself is linked to your job, then it’s much harder to switch off when the working day ends, explains Niels.
“While finding self-worth in work may bring short-term rewards, it is not conducive to long term fulfilment. While things can go wrong in our careers, having a more rounded sense of self can make us more positive and resilient people.”
Always saying yes
“Saying yes makes us feel useful, and if we’re ambitious, it helps feed that drive,” says Nic. “But it can also be isolating and cause feelings of resentment and anger, as we feel we’re the only one working.” If you care about what you do, even enjoy it, it’s natural to want a positive ‘can do’ attitude, but Nic warns, “Burnout is possible for everyone – especially people who are passionate about what they do. If we don’t set boundaries, we might end up hating our jobs. There can be a sense of emotional exhaustion, a depersonalisation and detachment.”
Redefining healthier boundaries “This may mean having an honest conversation with a manager where you negotiate your priorities,” says Nic. “There is a fear that colleagues will think we’re slacking off. That’s OK. Prepare for a bit of pushback.”
After that, it’s important to protect your time. “Don’t cheat. If it means no emails while on holiday, make sure that happens,” says Nic.
“Saying ‘no’ helps people respect your ‘yes’, because they’ll be able to trust your ‘yes’. If you can’t say ‘no’, try saying ‘yes’ with conditions – be clear about your timeline and where the quality of your work needs to be.”
Even if you still do a lot of work from home, try to ‘mentally leave’ the office at the end of the day,
Niels suggests. “Set clear boundaries at home where you do not address work emails during certain hours, to give you time to de-stress for the next day.”