‘It’s good for young guys to talk about boundaries’ Author will join discussion at fest
Difficult conversations will be had at this year’s Paisley Book Festival – but perhaps none more so than what it is to be a man in Scotland in the modern age.
Stereotypically, men are notorious for finding it difficult to talk about their feelings and told to be strong, rejecting hurtful emotions. But at what cost?
Scottish Masculinities at this year’s festival – continuing today – will explore the nature of being male in our society. The event will be a discussion between established authors Graeme Armstrong, Alan Bissett and Brian Conaghan.
Lochwinnoch-based Bissett last year published ‘Lads: A Guide to Consent and Respect’ – a how-to guide for teenage boys on the cusp of manhood. It looks at the problems facing young men today but also their responsibilities.
He has been touring schools in Renfrewshire trying to talk to boys about the difficult subjects.
It’s an issue close to his heart with two young boys – aged eight and five – of his own to raise.
Alan said of his book: “It’s asking young guys to learn and look at some of the behaviour that’s around them and reflect on it and maybe think about how that makes women and girls feel, so that they can have better and healthier relationships.
“Young guys that have just come through puberty, they’re not sure what the rules are, what the boundaries should be.
“The way it often is is they’re egged on by their friends into behaviour that’s full of bravado and they’re trying to prove themselves all the time and elevate themselves in the pack.
“Sometimes girls can be the collateral damage in that.”
Alan says that during his time speaking in schools ahead of the event, staff told him the behaviour of boys in schools in recent years has become more sexualised.
Their mobile phones provide a window into the world of the porn industry and also toxic influences such as Andrew Tate, the renowned misogynist.
Indeed, an Ipsos survey published last year showed that, of those who had heard of him, a fifth of those asked viewed Tate as a role model.
The British-American former kickboxer, who has 8.7 million followers on the social media platform X, is facing charges in Romania, which he denies, of human trafficking, rape and forming a criminal gang to sexually exploit women.
Alan insists it’s not easy, given the messaging young males are bombarded with from the likes of Tate, and admits he made mistakes growing up.
But he’s setting out to redress the balance with his book which aims to give the reader strong but compassionate direction.
He said: “It’s not wagging the finger at anyone saying shape up, it’s pointing towards some of my own mistakes, some of the things that I’ve observed and asking them to reflect.
“There’s not a grown man alive that hasn’t made a woman feel uncomfortable at some point – and so I’m asking the younger ones to maybe learn from our mistakes.
“But at the same time, my generation didn’t grow up with the internet, that’s a massive difference.
“And I think there’s a lot of toxic influences on young guys that come from the internet, that maybe they’ve not stopped to question yet; and so, I’m asking them to do that.”
Alan’s talk is tomorrow between from 5pm and 6pm at Paisley Town Hall. Tickets are £12 with concessions £10.
For more information and tickets, visit https://bit. ly/4aLDgMi
It’s not wagging the finger at anyone saying shape up, it’s pointing towards some of my own mistakes...