I bring a hopeful message from the future
the main thing 2021 will be remembered for is the invention of the time machine. I realise that you don’t know this yet, so you’ll just have to take my word for it: 13 August 2021, a cry of “Eureka!” from a lab in Cambridge, a small explosion and, when the dust settled, the world had access to a time machine. Now it’s finally my turn to use it, so I’m sending back this letter to explain what life is like in the year 2051.
First of all, and it pains me to say it, what a bunch of panic-mongers you guys were! High streets closed? Ha, if only you could see them now. What actually happened after the Covid-19 pandemic (the Time Travel Laws forbid me from explaining the final steps, but let’s just say he’s High Lord Chris Whitty now) was a rush to meet, to mingle, to enjoy one another’s company. The high street bloomed like never before and hasn’t looked back.
Admittedly, our city centres are a little different, what with companies shedding their central headquarters in favour of regional offices and shared office spaces, and ultra-cool pods appearing that made it seem like you’re working right next to your favourite colleagues even though you’re miles away! Also, it became cool to say “cool” again, which was quite a relief to me.
Pubs? Okay, I’ll admit it was difficult at first, just as it was for music venues and wherever space was tight, but after centuries of dubiously stained carpets and all the ventilation of an asthmatic beetle, pubs modernised. Not in a stainless steel, clinical way, but in a cosy “hey, have your own space” kind of way. Plus, non-alcoholic beer finally tastes nice.
What else? Oh yes, phones! We all used to carry those, didn’t we? Back in those hilarious days when clothes had pockets to hold germ-riddled coins, clunky keys and bulging wallets. Now it’s all in the T. Ah, but of course, you don’t know about the T do you? Think of it as you. A piece of technology that can be embedded however you please; in a tattoo, a ring, even your glasses if you’re a crazy ARdefending Luddite. T is always with you, in one sweep solving the problems of privacy, identity and payment.
Talking of Luddites, I’m one of those who clings to my keyboard. I know, sad, right? The writing was quite literally on the wall once IBM created ThinkWrite™. The only irritation being that you can’t think ThinkWrite™ without that annoying trademark thing appearing. Also, because I’m using an Apple ThinkWrite™ system, it means I can’t blimey well swear.
But I’ve said too much. I’m not allowed to tell you what happened to Wintel after the merger, Huawei’s aggressive takeover of Hawaii to solve the pronunciation problem once and for all, or the burgeoning tourist industry on Trump Planet. Or “Mars”, as you called it.
A final thought before I leave you: we don’t say it enough, but technology is amazing. In the space of three decades it has revolutionised the world, created new economies and brought us all together. It’s unpredictable, enthralling and totally taken for granted. And I’ll leave you to work out whether I’m writing that in 2021 or 2051.