Planning your own funeral helps loved ones cope

Death seems to be the hardest word.

In communities where cultural or religious traditions are strong people don’t worry about their funeral.

They know that when the time comes those closest to them will know what to do. Custom and duty will see to it that things are done properly.

In communities where traditions have been left behind dying people have no such assurance. When death happens those closest to them may not have a clue what to do.

If those closest to you do not know how you want to be cared for before and after death you will need to tell them.

Dying for most of us is going to be not a sudden event but a lengthy process.

Here are some of the things to consider when planning your final farewell to help ease a little of the strain on your loved ones: •Putting your affairs in order. •How you are looked after in your last days. •Who will speak and act for you when you can no longer do so for yourself. •Where you die. •Whether or not your organs are donated. •How your body will be cared for or to whom it will be donated. •Whether your body will be buried or the subject of a cremation ceremony. •Who you would like to be told that you have passed away. •The details of your funeral ceremony.

A plan like this spans several professional domains, each of which has its own specialists: solicitors, will writers, financial advisers, medics, undertakers, celebrants and caterers.

But the only person who can join them all up is you.

However reluctant they are, you will need to try to talk to those closest to you about how you would like your affairs to be looked after because if you want them to be your advocates you will need their active involvement.

Because the love you they will listen.

When you can no longer speak for yourself you will urgently need them to be there to speak and act for you.

The conversation needs to take place because you need an agreement to be reached.

Perth and Kinross is home to a number of excellent professionals who handle these sensitive subjects with care.