Sleep­ing With A De­mon

● Nicholas seemed a nat­u­ral with kids ● Abu­sive mon­ster killed 1-year-old Kam ● Cops thought I’d helped my evil fella

Pick Me Up! Special - - Front Page - Sarah Rose, 30, Birm­ing­ham

With two kids from two failed re­la­tion­ships by the time I was 20, I didn’t think any­one would want me.

So when I met Nicholas Kirnon, 20, on a night out back in 2006, I thought I’d struck gold.

He was a nat­u­ral with my sons, Thierry, then 3, and Kam­ran, 1.

We’d only been to­gether a few months when he was play­ing on the floor with the boys one day. ‘Dadda!’ Kam­ran beamed. To my re­lief, Nicholas smiled. Af­ter six months to­gether, Nicholas of­fered to help with child­care. He was un­em­ployed, while I worked part-time at a local book­ies.

‘Thierry’s at nurs­ery most of the time any­way,’ Nicholas said.

I was ner­vous at first. But, a few weeks in, things seemed great.

I al­ways came home to a tidy flat and the boys ready for bed.

On 10 May 2007, I said good­bye to Kam. ‘Bye, Kam Kam!’ I waved. He smiled and waved back. I got the bus into Birm­ing­ham and started my shift.

At around 11am, my phone rang. It was Nicholas.

‘It’s Kam,’ he said. ‘You need to get to the hos­pi­tal, now.’

When I ar­rived at Heart­lands Hos­pi­tal, Birm­ing­ham, Nicholas was be­ing taken away by po­lice.

‘They think I killed Kam,’ he said to me.

I ran in­side. My mum and sis­ter were al­ready there.

Mum shook her head and I just knew. Kam­ran was gone.

I fell to the floor scream­ing. Then, nurses took me to a room where more po­lice were wait­ing.

‘Do you feel up to com­ing to the sta­tion?’ one asked. ‘We need to ask you a few ques­tions.’

At Sut­ton Cold­field sta­tion, I spoke to two fe­male of­fi­cers.

I thought they were just try­ing to es­tab­lish the facts be­fore they let me go. But I was wrong.

‘I’m ar­rest­ing you for gross neg­li­gence and know­ing or al­low­ing a child to die,’ one said. ‘I don’t un­der­stand?’ I gasped. I spent the night in and out of

Mum shook her head and I just knew. Kam­ran was gone

gru­elling po­lice in­ter­views.

‘Did you kill your son?’ they asked. ‘You killed him then went to work, didn’t you?’

By the end, I was scream­ing for them to stop.

My heart was shat­tered. Los­ing a son was a pain like no other.

Be­ing ac­cused of killing him was a true night­mare.

At court the next morn­ing, I was sent to prison.

I was locked up un­til the next hear­ing in nine days’ time.

Eleven days af­ter Kam’s death, I was granted bail. But I couldn’t go home, as so many peo­ple were po­ten­tial wit­nesses for me at trial.

Through my so­lic­i­tor, I found out I didn’t re­ally know Nicholas at all.

‘He re­cently served a year in prison,’ my so­lic­i­tor said. ‘And he was vi­o­lent to an ex.’

See­ing Kam’s post-mortem re­port was the fi­nal wake-up call.

His lit­tle body had been cov­ered in bruises. His liver and spleen were rup­tured. He also had a four-week-old bleed on his brain – a sign that abuse had been go­ing on be­fore the mur­der.

At Birm­ing­ham Crown Court in Fe­bru­ary 2008, I stood in the dock with Nicholas, charged with man­slaugh­ter and al­low­ing the

death of | a child. Nicholas was charged with mur­der. Pros­e­cu­tors said I knew Nicholas was abus­ing Kam.

But the judge ruled there was no ev­i­dence against me, and di­rected the jury to find me not guilty.

The judge or­dered Nicholas to be re­tried alone that June.

He ap­peared at Birm­ing­ham Crown Court, charged with mur­der.

He pleaded not guilty, say­ing Kam had fallen off the sofa.

But Kirnon was found guilty. He got life, with a 17-year min­i­mum.

Re­build­ing my life was hard. In Septem­ber 2008, I met Noel, now 29. But it was a long time be­fore I in­tro­duced him to Thierry.

We wel­comed baby Sa­van­nah in 2011, and Por­shah in 2012, and we mar­ried that same year. Life is full and happy. But I’m still wracked with guilt for let­ting Kirnon into our lives. And with­out my dar­ling Kam, a piece of my heart will al­ways be miss­ing.

In­no­cent, by Sarah Rose, is pub­lished by Ebury and avail­able to buy now for £6.99. Also, see her char­ity page at www.shar­ing kam­scud­dles.com

My heart was shat­tered. It was a pain like no other

NICHOLAS KIRNON

MY DAR­LING KAM A PIECE OF ME IS STILL MISS­ING

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