Should I dump Mum?
Rachel, 30, Birmingham
It’s been five years since my dad died. It was totally unexpected so I moved back home to support my devastated mum. To build her confidence back up, I included her in all my social plans. She came along on all my nights out and girly weekends – basically she became my plus one. Mum is so much more confident now but the problem is, she just assumes whatever I’m doing she’s invited to. When I recently mentioned a holiday with my new boyfriend, she started researching where we could all go! I love spending time with her but I can’t include her in everything. Should I tell her gently it’s time to stand on her own two feet? The short answer to your question is, “YES!” It’s absolutely time for your mum to start building her own life because in the long run, this is the very best thing for her. You’ve shown her such love and support recently - you’ve been a model daughter and have helped her through the early years of shock, grief and bewilderment. You’ve shown her that life has to carry on and you’ve enabled her to do this. What a great foundation she has upon which to start rebuilding. I would suggest you tell her how much you love spending time with her but that you also need some time alone to enable your new romance to flourish. Maybe encourage her into a new hobby but let her make the arrangements herself - it’s time she took back responsibility for her own social life. YES Pick Me Up! reader Stacy from Chippenham says: It’s time for your mum to move on. It may sound harsh, but you have your own life to live. I’m sure your mum would understand if you just told her that you need your own space, especially if it’s to go on holiday with your new man! Five years of letting her tag along is enough. NO Pick Me Up! reader Jenna from Swansea says: Don’t be so selfish. Your poor mum is obviously feeling really lonely since your dad died, and she needs her daughter around for support. If she’s up for going along on nights out then she already sounds like a pretty cool mum! Enjoy her company while you can!