Should I give up now?
I’ve recently found out that my boyfriend slept with my best friend. It was before we got together, but I’m devastated. I love him but I can’t get the thought of them together out of my head – and I feel betrayed that neither told me. Someone else did. Shall I just give up on us now before I get in too deep?
YES
Pick Me Up! reader Stacey from Leeds says:
I’m afraid to say that this relationship is doomed from the start. If you can’t get the thought of the two of them out of your head now, then you never will. Plus, the fact that he wasn’t honest with you about it doesn’t bode well. Leave now and find someone else without a history with one of your mates.
NO
Pick Me Up! reader Megan from Swansea says:
Like you said, the two of them slept together before you and this bloke even got together, so really, he didn’t actually cheat on you. It’s not fair to judge your boyfriend for his previous relationships. He clearly wants to be with you, not your friend, so give him a chance. He didn’t know he would meet you. You never know, it could work out.
ZOE SAYS:
It’s important that you clarify with both your boyfriend and your friend as to why they did not tell you about this. You also need to agree on boundaries from now on – how the three of you will interact with each other. I understand it is very hard for you, because you have to renegotiate not only your friendship but also your relationship. I would allow time before you make any decisions. Let the dust settle. Talk to people who know you well and love you, and consult a personal therapist. Reassess your relationship. Are there any other doubts about your relationship, or is this an isolated incident before you had met? People have a past, so try to put everything into context. To do this you have to look after yourself first, clear your mind and take your time. You have been through a major experience and this is maybe not the time for major decisions.