Should I make it hap­pen?

Pick Me Up! Special - - Real Life Gross -

I’m des­per­ate for a baby, but my hus­band said he isn’t ready. I don’t think he’ll ever be 100% cer­tain it’s the right time, but I know he’ll make an amaz­ing dad one day. Shall I just stop tak­ing birth con­trol and let na­ture take its course? Chris­tine, Manch­ester


Pick Me Up! reader Diane from Durham says:

No one is ever re­ally ready for a baby, but once a baby ar­rives, most peo­ple are in love straight away. Ev­ery­one has doubts, but I’m sure your hus­band would step up. I say do what you need to do to fall preg­nant. Your hus­band will never know you stopped tak­ing the pill, and in the end it won’t ac­tu­ally mat­ter, be­cause he’ll be in love with his new son or daugh­ter. Give him the push he needs.


Pick Me Up! reader Natasha from Ex­eter says:

This would be a ter­ri­ble thing to do to your hus­band. Not only would you be ly­ing to him, but you’d also be push­ing him into a life that he didn’t choose. Do you re­ally want dis­hon­esty to be the way you make a baby? Imag­ine if some­one forced you to do some­thing you didn’t want to do? Don’t be so self­ish.


Dis­agree­ing on some­thing as fun­da­men­tal as hav­ing a baby or even the tim­ing of such a big de­ci­sion can be very dis­tress­ing for both part­ners. I think there needs to be a dis­cus­sion at an ap­pro­pri­ate time and place. It’s im­por­tant that both of you lis­ten to each other’s rea­son­ing – he should lis­ten to your de­sire for a baby and you lis­ten to his feel­ing of not be­ing ready. De­ceit is bound to make things even worse for both of you and it is not a base for a strong long term re­la­tion­ship. I think the two of you will have to rene­go­ti­ate the ba­sics in this re­la­tion­ship. Do you still have com­mon goals and vi­sion? Is this a dis­agree­ment over chil­dren or a more gen­eral lack of the same fo­cus? If you feel that dis­cus­sion alone is not get­ting you far, it might be time you con­sult a ther­a­pist.

Baby blues

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