Is it time he goes?
My son is 18 and still living at home, but he’s gone off the rails. I know he’s stealing from my purse, hanging out with the wrong crowd and won’t get a job. I feel like asking him to move out so he starts to grow up, but am I risking him getting into more trouble? Marie, Stoke-on-trent
YES
Pick Me Up! reader Julie from Plymouth says:
Your son obviously has some issues, but he needs his mum. Rather than kicking him out, sit him down for a chat to find out what’s going on in his life. If he knows you’re there for him, he’ll open up to you and perhaps you can solve some of his issues together?
NO Pick Me Up! reader Debbie from Bath says:
I’m afraid your son needs to learn the hard way that there are consequences for his actions. While living with you, he can get away with murder, but in the real world, it won’t be so easy. I’d say ask him to move out, and give him the push he needs. He may actually surprise you.
ZOE SAYS:
It is very worrying for a parent to watch their children misbehave or go through difficult phases. Although ‘tough love’ is often necessary for establishing boundaries, it is not the first call. It is important that you understand the reason for this behaviour. What has been happening in your family recently? Very often young people steal money to feed a drug, smoking or drinking habit, even recreationally. I would have a discussion with your son, seeking to understand but also agreeing on some boundaries. Agreeing on a budget for pocket money and also looking for a job perhaps will also be important. If these don’t work, then it might be time to discuss this with a qualified practitioner.