Sheree Sims, 28, from Morley, Leeds, was so proud of her little boy’s birthday wishes...
Jack Bentley, 27, would always go the extra mile for any of us. That’s what made him ever so special. He was funny, charming and had a heart of gold.
When we were in school, he’d shimmy up the trees and pull daft faces – it’s no wonder everyone nicknamed him ‘Monkey’.
And it was that same skill he used to charm our little boy Lucas.
When my boyfriend Danny and I were only 20 years old, I fell pregnant unexpectedly.
Whilst we juggled life with our beautiful new-born, Lucas, Jack was always there to help.
Offering to babysit, buying clothes and toys, and keeping us company on evenings – he was a great support.
‘How are you feeling?’ he’d say, popping over with a bottle of wine for me and beers for Danny.
It was a no-brainer when we asked him to be Lucas’ godfather.
‘I’d love to,’ he beamed with pride.
That was it – we were officially family.
When he took Lucas to the football to watch the mighty Morley Town play, I had difficulty prying Lucas back off him.
‘We ate chips and it was so much fun,’ Lucas giggled.
And when Danny and I couldn’t find the green walking, talking dinosaur that Lucas really wanted for his birthday present, it was no surprise when Jack rocked up with one in hand.
‘Happy birthday little man!’ he beamed, handing it over.
Always managing to put a smile on everyone’s face. ‘Thanks Jack!’ Lucas said. He admired his caring godfather so much.
In December 2015, Danny and I welcomed our second baby, little Ivy, into the world.
And Jack adored her just as much as Danny and I did.
‘Would you be up for a double christening?’ we asked. ‘Godfather to them both!’ And so it was made official, in St Paul’s Church in Morley, just outside Leeds.
Wearing a smart white shirt and burgundy tie, Jack promised to love and protect our children.
And when Danny proposed, Jack had another role to fill.
‘Will you be my best man?’ Danny asked.
The best of friends.
We set about planning the special day, over beers and Chinese takeaway evenings.
‘Something like this?’ Jack said, as we watched Youtube videos of best man speeches. ‘Perfect!’ I squealed. We only had a month to go until the big day.
Everything was ready – the suits had been fitted, cake sampled, table plan designed.
We were excited to celebrate, and so was Jack.
Then just nine days before the wedding, his parents called Danny.
‘He’s gone missing,’ Danny said, his voice cracking.
We were all so surprised.
It wasn’t like him at all. ‘What if something’s happened?’ Danny worried.
The hours passed like days. And the days passed like months. On Lucas’ seventh birthday, Jack had been missing for two days.
We’d organised a kids party round our house, and I was praying that Jack would rock up with a present in hand and a big grin on his face – like he always did.
Only this time around, there was no show.
‘I need to go and look for him,’ Danny said.
‘Lucas needs us,’ I pleaded. ‘Let’s celebrate his birthday party first, and then go.’
At 1.30pm, we headed to the search party at The Carriers.
‘Hello?’ Danny said, picking up his phone.
I watched his face fall.
I could feel in my gut that it was bad news.
Ushering Lucas inside the pub with friends, I turned to Danny. ‘They’ve found Jack,’ he cried. We both began to sob as he explained what had happened.
One of Jack’s friends found him at Farnley Wood Beck, a field where the boys had played as kids. He’d hanged himself, at just 29. ‘I didn’t even know he was feeling low,’ Danny wept.
‘None of us did,’ I said, reassuring him.
Jack was always happy and bubbly – it was such a shock.
We broke the news to all of Jack’s friends in the beer garden where they’d begun the search party. Everyone cried.
What made Jack do this? I
Jack always went the extra mile
thought, again and again. I couldn’t
understand.
Pulling myself together, I wiped my tears and went to speak to Lucas.
‘You need to stay with Auntie Rachel tonight,’ I said.
That evening, we sat with Jack’s friends, raising a glass to Jack.
The following morning, I needed to explain to Lucas.
‘Something not very nice has happened to someone we love,’ I explained. ‘Jack was poorly in his head and he died.’
Lucas’ lip wobbled and he stayed very quiet.
He’d lost his godfather, and his best friend.
On his birthday, and a week before our wedding.
We all grieved for each other. As the days passed, we got closer and closer to the wedding.
I couldn’t think about anything but Jack.
I kept going over moments and memories in my head, and yet, there were no signs of Jack feeling down.
‘He wouldn’t want us to cancel the wedding,’ Danny said.
No-one could ever replace Jack, so Danny wed without a best man.
On 22 September 2018, we married at The Inn on the Lake in Ullswater, Cumbria.
Whilst we celebrated, Jack was there every step of the way.
When we cut our cake, we looked at Jack’s buttonhole sat on the table beside us.
After the ceremony, we held a minute’s silence and released 100 white balloons in honour of Jack.
I squeezed Lucas’ hand as applause ruptured around us. We all cried together.
A few days later, we went to Jack’s burial.
He lay to rest in his best man’s suit, the matching one to Danny’s.
Every day that’s passed since his death, Jack has been in our thoughts. And Lucas’, too. In January 2019, I found Lucas crying on the stairs.
‘What’s got you upset?’ I asked, sitting next to him.
‘I don’t want everyone to be sad on my birthday because they’re missing Jack,’ he whimpered.
Lucas’ birthday, his happiest day of the year, was also the anniversary of his godfather’s death.
It was going to be hard for us all. ‘Let’s make it a super special day,’ I promised him.
Then a few days later, Lucas brought the topic back up.
‘I’ve decided I don’t want any birthday presents,’ he declared.
‘I want sad people to get my presents to make them feel happy again.’
I crouched down next to him and gave him the biggest hug.
‘We can do that,’ I promised him.
I felt overcome with pride and emotion.
My seven-year-old was a young boy with a really big heart.
Jack’s friend, Josh, had set up a suicide-prevention charity called MINT – Men In Need Together – in memory of Jack.
Combining Lucas’ wishes and Josh’s incredible cause, we planned a fun-raiser for September 2019.
We asked all guests to give charity donations, instead of birthday gifts.
And in September last year, we all came together at Morley Cricket Club to celebrate Lucas’ birthday, just how he’d requested.
Dining on monkey buns and wearing badges in Jack’s memory, we made it extra special.
And Josh presented Lucas with a certificate to say thank you for the £500 he’d raised.
Since, Lucas has continued the fundraising and Danny and I volunteer at MINT charity.
If we can save just one person from what Jack went through, it is all worth it.
With MINT close to our hearts, we’ve made sure that mental health is always an open conversation in our house.
I know that wherever Jack is, he’s looking down on us and smiling.
And I’m sure he’s still protecting his godchildren from the sky.
We will always be family.