We searched the world for a stranger to save our son
Jo Withers, 43, from Walsall, is so grateful to the stranger who saved her son’s life… Amagicalmoment
Sitting up in bed, I heard a strange noise coming from the bathroom. ‘Everything OK in there?’ I mumbled as I wandered down the hall.
‘Another nosebleed,’ my son Jack, 10, sniffled.
It was late one night in 2015, and as I opened the bathroom door, I saw poor Jack sitting on the edge of the bath, a wad of blood-soaked toilet paper wedged under his nose.
‘It’s OK, love,’ I said, grabbing some clean tissue.
While the occasional nosebleed wasn’t something to stress about, this had been the second one in two days that Jack had suffered with.
The night before, while having dinner, Jack’s nose had started to bleed at the table.
‘Here you are,’ my husband Mark, 51, had said, passing him some kitchen towel.
In the weeks that followed, he continued to get nosebleeds.
Taking him to the GP, I was told he had nasal polyps – painless growths in the nose that could cause bleeds.
When the problem persisted, though, and the doctor told me Jack would need to have his nose cauterized, I began to worry.
Blood tests showed that Jack had low iron, a vitamin deficiency, and a low platelet count.
Hearing those words made my stomach turn.
Our family had been through enough already, and I could feel another dark cloud looming over us.
‘Are you thinking what I’m thinking?’ I asked Mark.
‘Let’s not jump to any conclusions just yet, love,’ he reassured me.
In 2010, at four years old, Jack’s twin sister Emily had been diagnosed with aplastic anaemia, a rare and potentially fatal disorder caused by the body not producing enough new blood cells. She’d needed a bone marrow transplant from her older sister Lauren, then 15, and thankfully, it had been a success.
After a long and
stressful journey, we’d finally settled back into family life and had found a sense of normality.
But now, Jack’s blood test results filled me with fear that history was about to repeat itself.
The next day, I rang up Emily’s old consultant and told him what was going on. ‘Do you think Jack has aplastic anaemia too?’ I asked. He thought it was highly unlikely. ‘Your mind’s running away with you,’ he said. ‘Try not to worry.’ But I was worried, as this all just felt too familiar. I insisted that doctors test Jack for the disorder.
A few weeks later, his consultant called with the test results.
‘I’m so sorry, but Jack does have aplastic anaemia,’ he said. I listened in complete shock as he went on to say that Jack would need a bone marrow transplant, just like Emily.
Hanging up, I collapsed in a heap on the floor, sobbing.
‘How can this be happening to us again?’ I cried.
When Jack came home from school and saw me in tears, he knew right away that it was bad news.
‘Don’t worry, Mum,’ he soothed, rubbing my back. ‘We’ll get through it together, just like we did with Emily.’
He was so brave. A few days later, when tests showed that no one in the family was a match, Jack was put on the waiting list for a bone marrow donor.
But in the weeks that followed, his condition got worse.
Jack had become pale and lethargic, and needed to have regular blood transfusions.
‘Without a donor, Jack only has about six months to live,’ his
Hadn’t we been through enough?
consultant told me gravely. Mark and I felt so helpless.
As a search for a donor began, all we could do was wait.
After two months, Jack’s consultant had some news.
The charity Anthony Nolan had been in touch.
They matched people willing to donate their blood stem cells or bone marrow to people with blood cancer or blood disorders.
‘They’ve found a match for Jack,’ the consultant said.
‘Yes!’ Jack cried out, punching the air as I sat beside him, crying tears of relief.
‘Who’s the donor?’ Jack asked. ‘All I can tell you is that he’s a 27-year-old man from Germany,’ his consultant replied.
Thank you so much, whoever you are, I thought.
That Christmas, Jack went into Birmingham Children’s Hospital for intense chemotherapy that would prepare his body for the transplant.
He lost all his hair, and had to be kept in isolation due to the risk of infection caused by his weakened immune system. And finally, the day of the transplant arrived.
Thankfully, the procedure went well, but we had to wait to see how Jack’s body would react to the donor bone marrow.
After three long months, Jack was well enough to come home, and in time, he grew stronger.
‘I want to write to the man who saved my life,’ he told me one day.
‘That’s a wonderful idea,’ I smiled. ‘We can both do it.’
I made some enquiries, and we were told that it was a policy for donors and recipients to remain anonymous for at least two years after the transplant.
But in the meantime, we were allowed to send letters anonymously through the charity.
Taking out a pen and a piece of paper, I began to write.
I really want to thank you for saving my son’s life... I started.
Jack drew a picture of our family to go along with the letter.
Days later, we were thrilled to open a letter from Jack’s donor.
You’re very welcome, he wrote.
I’m pleased I could help.
We started to write to each other regularly, but the need to remain anonymous meant that we always had to be vague.
Meanwhile, Jack had returned to his former energetic self and excelled at school.
He was still doing well by the time the second anniversary of his transplant arrived, and we finally learnt his donor’s name – Michael Merten.
We were allowed to exchange contact details, and the three of us were in regular contact through phone calls and Whatsapp messages. Michael would even send little gifts to Jack.
I can’t wait to meet you one day, Jack wrote.
Soon after, DKMS, a charity founded in Germany which worked alongside Anthony Nolan and had helped to find Michael as donor for Jack, got in touch to say they were organising a fundraising gala.
‘They want you and Michael to meet on stage,’ I told Jack. ‘That’s brilliant!’ he said. In November 2018, we travelled to London for the gala. On stage, Michael was introduced and I cried as I watched my little boy give this man who had saved his life the tightest of hugs. Afterwards, me, Mark, Lauren, now 25, and Emily, 13, all got up on stage to give Michael a hug. ‘Thank you so much,’ I told him through tears.
It was an incredible moment. Now, I want to encourage others to sign up as donors.
Jack is 13 now, and to see him cured is hopefully enough to make anyone consider signing up. Today, we still keep in touch with Michael and are good friends. He downplays his incredible act, but in our eyes, he’s a hero. Thank you will never be enough. Michael says: ‘When you think of what little it takes out of your body to save someone else’s life, then it’s easy and good to do.’ Visit www.dkms.org.
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