Speak To Son About Grandchild?

Judy, 59, Shefford

Three years ago my son and daughter-in-law had their first child, a little boy. Our family was overjoyed, especially me as I was a first-time grandmother. However, they wouldn’t let anybody see the baby for the first few weeks of his life, as they wanted to form a strong bond with him.

When my son returned to work, I was on hand to babysit or lend money. Other than that they keep me away, making excuses whenever I want to see him. When I do see him, my daughter-in-law won’t even let me push the pram. But I’m welcomed when they need money or a babysitter. I’m unhappy with this. Should I speak to my son about it?

YES

Pick Me Up! reader Tracy Enright says, ‘This is a very one-sided arrangement. You need to talk to your son, but think about what you’re going to say first. There’s nothing worse than arguing a point and not being able to back it up with examples. It may be that your daughter-in-law feels insecure. Or perhaps she only sees you as a babysitter and a cash machine, in which case you may have to start saying no.’

NO

Pick Me Up! reader Emma Chester says, ‘Perhaps work on your relationship with them rather than your grandson. Invite them to lunch or do something with your daughter-in-law. She’s the key. You can’t ask for an improvement in a relationship, you have to work at it. Failing that, offer to have your grandson for the day or weekend. If they’re asking for money and childcare, they’re struggling and not getting a break.’