Your Dilemmas

My husband has been made redundant from his job of 17 years, and has taken it badly. He stays indoors all day and he’s stopped taking care of himself. He gets no exercise and he is putting on weight. What concerns me is his drinking. Since losing his job he’s been drinking from around 4pm on weekdays. I know that his confidence has been shattered, but he can’t look for another job if he’s drunk. I don’t know if it’s just a phase, or a potential problem, but I do know that he’s drinking away our money. As I have a long-term illness I can only work a few days a week, so my salary can’t keep us afloat. Should I confront my husband about his drinking?

YES

Pick Me Up! reader Mandy Cooper says: ‘Sit down and talk to him about your concerns. This will probably be more welcoming than saying that he has a drinking problem and needs to stop. Putting too much pressure on him to stop drinking will only make things worse. Broach the subject and see how he responds, but tread very carefully. He’s in a vulnerable place right now and needs all of your support.’

NO

Pick Me Up! reader Tracy Enright says: ‘It’s hard when you get made redundant. You feel you’re not wanted and you’re not good enough. He does need support with his drinking, but he also needs ways to build his confidence and self-esteem – perhaps a job club or volunteering. I wouldn’t confront him, but now might be the right time for some straight talking in a supportive way.’