Starting again

QMy husband has been offered a new job in a different town. It’s a great opportunity, but I don’t want to leave my friends and family or change the kids’ school. But if I say no, then I think he’ll just resent it. I feel so torn. Harriet, Stoke on Trent

AThis is a really difficult situation to be in and one that could impact so many people. I wonder if this opportunity was something you had discussed or if it was one that has come as a total surprise? Relocating can be really exciting if it is something that the entire family is on board with, but it sounds that there is a lot at stake here.

My advice would be to have a really open, honest discussion with your husband about what this new job could offer him as well as you and your children, but also tell him about your concerns. This doesn’t have to be an argument, but it needs to be a calm, considered conversation where you both look at the implications.

If you are tempted to give it a go, you could go and visit the new town and look at local schools and facilities, but if it isn’t going to work for you, it could be that a career move closer to home could be a better solution, or a slightly longer commute for your husband if he still wants to take the job. Good luck.