MUM’S NEW MAN
Patrycja Miszczuk, 33, from Corby, relied on her stepdad when she was grieving, but he had other plans...
Walking into the house, with the smell of pasta quickly greeting me, I couldn’t wait for dinner. As even though I’d moved into my own flat, looking after my daughter Urszula, now 16, my mum Anna would expect us both at the dinner table.
We had a close relationship. She wasn’t just my mum but my best friend, too.
Originally from Poland, both my mum and dad made sure that me and my brother Arkadiusz, now 23, had a funfilled childhood.
Growing up, my friends treated my mum like their own – and she was popular with other ladies in our town. However, when I turned 15, life at home wasn’t the way that it had been in the past. With Mum and Dad revealing that they were getting a divorce, I struggled to accept the news.
Deep down I secretly hoped that they’d get back together. Only, that wasn’t the case. As shortly after the divorce, Mum, then 33, had a new man on the scene – Kris, then 28. ‘He really does have a heart of gold,’ Mum insisted.
I knew how important it was for her to find love again. Yet, it didn’t mean that I had to like him.
Meeting him when I was still 15, I didn’t expect the two of them to be a big thing. Kris was nice enough, but we never spent a lot of time together, as he would only come over to see Mum. Plus, I thought that Kris had come in between my parents getting back together. However, Kris moved in, and the pair of them decided to get married in March 2007, so I accepted him. I didn’t really have much of a choice.
Yet, all I wanted was for my mum to be happy.
And I realised I had been quick to judge.
In time, I was able to rely on Kris for homework help and stepdad chores, too.
After having Urszula, at 17, Kris would even babysit when I needed extra help.
Then, just a year later, when I turned 18, Kris got offered an amazing catering role as a chef in the UK.
Even though Mum didn’t speak much English, it was a way for her to have a fresh start by going with him.
The plan was for me to join them all once I’d finished my final year of college.
And that’s exactly what I did. Staying in touch every day, I knew how much Mum had adjusted to living in England.
So, when I made the big move, Kris was the first person to help at my new flat.
Getting a job as a beautician, I found my feet in the UK.
Over the years, we’d all see each other every evening without fail.
Thankfully, Kris made sure that Mum was completely comfortable, too.
She didn’t need to work, and he took care of absolutely everything for her.
The pair of them would go back to Poland each year and he’d spoil her with gifts all the time, too.
Mum was always beaming with energy.
However, everything changed in summer 2017.
‘Are you OK?’ I asked Mum, as I’d gone over to visit as usual.
She was quiet, sleepy and somewhat withdrawn.
‘I’m so tired,’ she muttered. Which didn’t sit right with me at all.
Even if Mum had felt unwell, she’d never make a big thing out of it.
‘We don’t know what’s going on,’ Kris insisted.
Kris then booked various GP appointments, going along to help with translations.
I couldn’t go with them as I had work – but I caught up on everything after.
‘They’re still trying to find out what’s happening,’ Kris repeated over and over.
Despite multiple tests, it seemed that we were actually
no further forward.
If anything, Mum was getting even more tired – I just wanted her to feel better.
Then, in August 2017, with our annual trip to Krakow, Poland, on the cards, we assumed that our old family doctor could help.
That way, Mum could explain her symptoms in Polish, without things getting lost in translation.
‘I’m so sorry to have to tell you this, but you’ve got stage four lymphoma,’ the consultant revealed.
Cancer? I thought, bursting into tears.
I didn’t know a lot about medicine, but I had a feeling it was very bad.
‘It’s OK, I can get treatment back in England,’ Mum insisted, trying to remain calm.
However, that wasn’t the case at all.
Lymphoma was a type of blood cancer that was usually very treatable.
Yet, Mum’s cancer had been caught extremely late – it was already covering 90% of her liver.
The cancer was too advanced.
‘You’ve got three months left to live,’ the consultant revealed. It was a huge shock. Especially for Arkadiusz – he was 17 at the time.
And I couldn’t help but feel completely confused by it all.
Why hadn’t they been able to find it sooner? If only I’d gone to the appointments, I thought.
‘We’ll get through this,’ Kris said to us all.
Yet, we didn’t want to believe that we were losing Mum.
Instead of worrying about herself, Mum wanted to put me and Arkadiusz first.
Needing to stay in hospital until the end of August, we then took Mum back home to the UK at the beginning of September 2017.
It was all about trying to make her feel comfortable now. ‘I’d like you both to have this money when Arkadiusz turns 25,’ Mum insisted. ‘Use it for a safe future.’ Taking out a £200,000 life insurance policy, it was a way that Mum could help, even though she wouldn’t be there to support us in person.
I just felt so guilty. ‘I should have known,’ I cried to Mum, sitting next to her bed.
‘Don’t blame yourself,’ she said, holding my hand. Deteriorating extremely quickly, I realised that Mum was dying.
She didn’t have the strength to talk to any of us anymore. And by 12 September 2017, Mum was in and out of consciousness, too. Trying to keep myself busy, I did one or two client treatments a day.
So, leaving for work on 19 September 2017, just for an hour, I kissed Mum’s forehead before rushing out. Only, as soon as I got to the salon, at roughly 4pm that day, my boss pulled me aside. ‘She’s gone,’ she stuttered. I couldn’t quite believe it. I’ve only just left the house. Mum waited for me to go…
My beautiful mum, Anna, had passed away, at just 45 years old – two months after she was diagnosed.
Kris and Arkadiusz had been there the moment that Mum took her last breath. Wanting to remember my mum for the bright spirit that she was, I got her changed into her favourite dress, doing her hair, too. I didn’t hold her hand or talk – I couldn’t. The initial shock was too overwhelming. It consumed us all.
Kris kept himself busy, but I could tell he was upset.
Despite the fact that we were never really that close, I knew that we all had to pull together.
So, Urszula and I moved in – supporting Arkadiusz, too.
‘It’s unfair she died so quickly,’ Kris confessed.
Kris organised Mum’s funeral for 25 September 2017.
However, for me, that day was a blur – I didn’t even know who was there.
Yet, I was grateful for Kris – he sorted everything out which helped to take the pressure off.
Even when it came to the life insurance, Kris guided me through all of the paperwork.
‘Thank you,’ I admitted, as he told me what pages to sign.
As days turned into weeks, life started to get back on track.
It was never going to be the same without Mum.
I missed her, but I slowly muddled through.
I returned to work, Arkadiusz studied, moving out into his own place, and Kris seemed to be coping well.
Changing career, he worked with a cosmetic beauty business and went on plenty of trips.
He managed to climb his way up to the top – and very quickly, too.
In June 2018, Kris asked me and Urszula on a free trip to Moscow.
I thought it would be nice to get away after everything we had been through.
Only, I was shocked when I found out that we’d also be meeting Kris’ new girlfriend.
It was hard but I knew Kris needed to move on, too.
A few months later, in December 2018, I got a phone call from Arkadiusz’s landlord.
He’d been struggling to keep up with payments.
Well, it’s times like this that we could use Mum’s money.
‘Can I get the paperwork for the life insurance? We need to make a pay out,’ I asked Kris.
‘I’m busy with work,’ he said. ‘We will sort it another time.’
However, I had to keep reminding Kris.
Plus, he was staying out and I didn’t really see him.
Is he avoiding me?
So, I decided to take matters into my own hands instead.
It wasn’t the same without her there
Both Arkadiusz and I found the number for the financial advisor, requesting the money for ourselves. ‘That money is no longer in this account,’ he revealed.
‘What do you mean? Where has it gone?’ I interrupted – thinking that I had misheard.
However, everything quickly slotted into place.
The holidays, the lavish hotel stays, jetting off to new places. Something wasn’t right. The financial advisor confirmed that a £200,000 payout had in fact been made – moved over to Kris’ account.
Shocked, upset and not knowing what to do, I rang Kris straight away.
Surely this is just a simple mistake?
‘Have you taken our money?’ I blurted as Kris answered. Only, there was silence. The call hadn’t been disconnected – Kris was completely dumbfounded. He didn’t say a single word. I felt outraged.
That wasn’t his money to touch – Mum had left it for me and my brother on her deathbed for us both to have a better future.
It was for a house – not Kris’ luxurious lifestyle.
Yet, that greedy man had stolen it all.
Mum claimed that Kris had a heart of gold – he’d played her all along.
And he’d conned me in the midst of my grief.
I assumed he was selflessly helping me with all of the paperwork – but I’d signed over the life insurance without even realising.
How can it take just one signature? I thought.
Contacting the police, it took four gruelling years for investigators to build a case in total.
Officers removed Kris from the property and all of his belongings, too.
And over that time, I didn’t hear from him – not even once.
I didn’t know where he was. However, thankfully, everything was taken to Northampton Crown Court in December last year, where Krzysztof Baczyński, now 40, plead not guilty to fraud.
Burning through £200,000 in just nine months, Kris’ inconsiderate spending was shown to all.
He’d invested in his failing cosmetics business, which was part of a pyramid scheme, he’d dined in fancy restaurants, bought a hot tub and had even gifted his new girlfriend some of the money, too.
Judge David Herbert described Kris’ behaviour as ‘reckless’, saying that it was ‘clear’ that he had no intention of ‘being satisfied’ or ever giving the money back.
We also found out that Kris had spent the critical illness part of the insurance while Mum was still alive.
He’d been a fraud all along – I think he faked his grief.
However, in December last year, Krzysztof Baczyński, was then found guilty of one count of fraud.
He was sentenced to four years in jail, needing to take part in the Proceeds of Crime Act in a bid to claw some of the insurance money back.
I didn’t care how long Kris got.
And I know that we’ll never see a penny of our money ever again.
I feel betrayed and it’s ripped our family apart.
If losing my mum wasn’t hard enough, the man that she loved stole everything from us while we were grieving.
Personally, I feel like this has made me stronger.
I’m thankful for my family and friends, even my dad, who have been there for me.
Only, Arkadiusz is really suffering now.
With pictures of Mum in my living room, I’m close to her friends, and we meet up on her birthday, 2 April, every year to remember her.
Mum thought that Kris had a heart of gold – instead, he was nothing but a fraud.
I’ve learnt that money can’t buy you happiness – Kris thought it could.
So, now I will be strong, carry on and trust no one – all for Mum.
Surely this was a simple mistake?