My husband has gained weight during lockdown
QWhile we’ve been in lockdown and my husband has been working from home, he’s become really fat. He looks completely different to the man I married and seems unconcerned about the impact this is having on his health. I’ve completely stopped fancying him. I hate living like this and feel that it’s only a question of time before I tell him how I feel. Do you think saying something will make him change?
A Your husband isn’t the only person to have let himself go during the pandemic – and we mustn’t be too hard on ourselves and each other for that. You could use the new year as a means of trying to galvanise him into doing something, but I wouldn’t focus on his weight or the way he looks, as that could be very hurtful. Instead, take up something you can do together that will keep you both active. If he is overweight (and not just bigger than you prefer), he needs support and encouragement. Don’t dwell on the current negatives, suggest you’d enjoy getting active together.
QI’m a single parent of two children and it’s been really hard. I couldn’t have managed it without my neighbour, who has been brilliant and has been more than happy to let my children stay with hers whenever I’ve needed them to. I’ve had no time for friendships and relationships, and I’ve realised over the last few months that this has to change. I can’t keep relying on my neighbour though. How can I improve my social life without taking advantage of my neighbour?
A If you haven’t told your neighbour how much you appreciate her then please make sure you do so, regularly. I would also suggest you could reciprocate sometimes.
Single parent organisations like Gingerbread (gingerbread.org. uk) would help you meet other single parents. Or Home-Start (home-start.org.uk) which could provide an alternative source of support. There are even single parent social, holiday and dating sites, such as Single With Kids (singlewithkids.co.uk).
Write to Fiona Caine c/o Annie Lewis, 1000 Lakeside, North Harbour, Portsmouth PO6 3EN or annie.lewis@jpimedia.co.uk Fiona regrets that she cannot enter into personal correspondence, nor pass letters on to other readers.