Portsmouth News

Yes! Teens can play nicely while parents are away

- ALUN NEWMAN

Iwould like to dedicate these column inches to all those parents who should know better but simply can’t change. Last week Mrs Newman and were able to disappear for a few nights on our own.

Even though we’re old and boring and sometimes talk about plants together, it still feels exciting. It’s like we’re bunking off school.

However, in order to disappear we had to do the ‘rundown’ with the kids amid much protesting from them. And, yes, it is a ‘we’ thing as well.

I always say things like ‘they’ll be fine', 'they’re old enough to get married’, ‘let’s just trust they’ll be okay.'

Even with all this guff, I still find myself stocking the fridge with meals’ talking to them about the importance of fruit and vegetables; asking for receipts if my money gets used.

For good measure I also add setting alarm clocks, making good decisions and staying safe online.

There’s no need for any of this. I’m aware that things change when I’m not micromanag­ing.

Do you remember changing your behaviour when you’re in someone else’s house, meeting a friend's parents, at a buddy's house for dinner?

You become this well-heeled version of yourself. You become the very thing your parents are

asking you to be at home but it seems impossible.

As education has ceased until next term, I have all family members working.

This is a feather in my cap but I’m not complacent. Oh no.

I've been here before and had children quit jobs for divers reasons such as ‘the customers are rude’, ‘I don’t really get retail’, and ‘I’m on my feet all day’.

I’m used to disappoint­ment and save some emotion for such eventualit­ies.

However, it came to pass that Mrs N and I finally managed to disappear for a few days and embarked on some quality time.

I say quality time but it was peppered with the never-ending pinging of my wife’s phone as different people checked-in, made requests and spent about an hour saying goodnight.

To be brutally honest, I was expecting

to hear that some team members had refused to go to work because of illness/Covid/ missing buses/alien invasion.

When we returned home I expected the house to look like a giant had given Ikea a good shake.

I expected the dog to be wearing an apron, cooking out of desperatio­n.

I was wrong on all counts. Sure, there were piles of either dirty or clean clothes around the house.

Yes, the bin was full of energy drinks and ‘share’ bags of sweets.

Yes, there was a hard-to-distinguis­h smell but a well-trained nose would have gone for ash/ smoke residue of some sort.

Aside from that, everything was still standing.

Even better than that, everything was fine and individual­s were chatty. I bristled with content. Job done. Perhaps.

Yes, there were stories of work and tired feet and pay that was coming in. Future plans were being made.

Some ‘post’ had actually been opened and read. Had I banged my head? Was I Bobby Ewing in Dallas and in some elaborate dream?

No. I was faced with reality and I couldn’t decide whether I liked it or not.

It could be the case that my children are better off without my micro-managing after all. Perhaps they really will flourish under their own steam.

Even more extraordin­ary, could it be that my wife and I have done a half-decent job as parents?

It was all too much and it will take me time to assess the real impact of the past few days.

In order to revert back to a far more comfortabl­e place, I told my son that he really, no really, doesn't need to watch YouTube while brushing his teeth at midnight.

Yes. Back in the old slippers. No need to panic! As you were.

I expected the dog to be wearing an apron, cooking out of desperatio­n

 ??  ?? It was supreme parenting which brought this about. Wasn't it?
It was supreme parenting which brought this about. Wasn't it?

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