Flower shows can be full of humour

It was once estimated that a mere two per cent of gardeners in the UK ever place entries at a flower show. Yet during the season, which runs from spring to autumn, if you’re connected to this activity, it feels as if the whole gardening world is involved.

Oodles of people like to look and learn but steer clear of the competitive aspect. And that is the key. Gardening is a national pastime. Reference the television audience measurement figures which reflect the interest in programmes such as ‘Gardeners’ World.’ Add to this attendance across the board at flower shows from Howick Village to

Glendale, Chelsea and similar

RHS events. The National Open Gardens Scheme has great appeal, and when it comes to number crunching, The Alnwick Garden is currently finding the visitor appetite insatiable. Inspirational ideas emerge from such experiences.

Some shows are not short of mild subterfuge or humour. I once approached a section for three large onions with a fellow judge who reached to lift a huge, beautifully shaped giant, that looked perfectly ripe and heavy. As he did so it almost flew over his head. Very life-like, it had been constructed with papier mache over a balloon.

It’s meritorious for beetroot entries to have very dark flesh, free from pale rings on the inside. So, judges used to cut open one specimen in each entry for examination. When one judge attempted to handle said exhibit, its skin came away in his hand – disqualified! Later, the exhibitor responsible meekly revealed that a friend in the pub had advised soaking them in vinegar overnight to enhance the colour.

The recent Howick Show Schedule asked for the best single vegetable, and one exhibit was a long species carrot three centimetres in length accompanied by a hand lens. Humorous and inspirational, but

not a prize-winner!