Self-discipline and the secrets to your success

The difference between success and failure is self-discipline. I work with people all the time who really struggle with their self-discipline, and when they talk about it I find that they have this very interesting belief – that it’s “something people are born with”.

This is not true. No baby is born with discipline, it is something you acquire. It’s like a muscle, the more you work it the better it gets.

Before you begin any task, you should take a minute to think “what do I want? What do I really want?”

And, once you know the answer to that, then ask another question ... “what price would I pay to get what I want?”

When these two answers are clear, then there are certain steps you can take to make sure you achieve what you want.

Step One: You must do what you don’t want to do first

Successful people do what they hate first – people with the best weight loss results do their workouts first.

You see, if you don’t like doing the thing and say

“I’ll do that later,” then the phone rings, and something happens, and suddenly you think, aww, it’s too late now, I’ll do it tomorrow.

But when you do it first, then it’s done and you’ll feel like a winner.

If you have to make a very difficult call, ring someone who owes you money, or confront someone who you don’t want to confront, and you wait, all day it will hang over your head making you feel bad.

But when you do it first, you feel like a winner. So pick the worst jobs and do them first and get them out of the way.

Step Two: Take action every single day in the direction of your goals

That doesn’t mean you have to work for ten hours, but even on Saturday and Sunday spend five minutes answering one email or making one call, because that’s what successful people do. They don’t have a day off on their way to success. They take action every single day in the direction of their goals.

Step Three: Delay gratification

Choose the reward that you want and then place it at the end of several tasks.

For example, “I love cappuccino, cappuccino is my reward and I’m going to have one after I complete all my morning tasks.”

The big problem we have nowadays is that we take the reward first. “I’m going to do this thing that I love first, and I’ll do all those things that I have to do after ...”

We take the reward before the work and then no longer feel any motivation or inspiration to do the work.

Step Four: Praise yourself

Criticism withers self-esteem but praise builds it up.

It is vital that we understand that all thoughts have physical reactions in the body.

Accepting criticism causes the release of cortisol, the stress hormone.

Those harsh, hurtful, critical words that you say to yourself over and over again are going into your body and having a negative chemical effect.

Accepting praise produces the release of endorphins, dopamine and serotonin – the happiness hormones – having a positive chemical effect.

Stop being your own worst critic.

You are allowed to make mistakes, but you are not allowed to punish and beat up your own body for being human.

Become alert to how often you criticise yourself. When you do that, you are physically and chemically withering your own self-esteem.

And don’t wait for others to praise you either. Start praising yourself. Start letting praise in.

Make praise familiar and make criticism unfamiliar.