I regret having a foolish affair with my neighbour

QAFor the past three years, I have been having an occasional affair with a man who lives a few doors down. He lives with his girlfriend, although they don’t get on.

I had just about convinced myself to leave my husband and go off with my lover, but then I realised how much I still loved my husband. I decided to try to make a go of my marriage. But my exlover’s girlfriend walked into my house one day and beat me up. I’m terrified she will come back and I haven’t told my partner. Your former lover’s girlfriend clearly has a temper – which may be why they don’t get on. Hopefully this was a one-off expression of her anger at being betrayed, but she might be out for vengeance, especially if she thinks you won’t retaliate.

Your chances now of involving the police, without a witness or a doctor’s report, are probably very slight, but it might be time for a bit of openness with your husband.

As your ex-lover and his partner are neighbours, there must be a lot of animosity in the air, so it may just be a matter of time before he finds out anyway. She may even take it upon herself to tell him, so wouldn’t it be better that it should come from you rather than anyone else?

QAI accepted an engagement ring from a man who is perfect in many ways and loves me and my adult children, and my grandchildren who have special needs. He is always there for all of us, and he recently said he wants to be married.

But my fiancé is very short – only 5ft 6. I am 5ft 2. He is also not very social, to the point that he is socially inept. I love him very much, but I could possibly attend functions alone because of the social indifference. Is it fair to marry him? It’s really difficult to see anything wrong with your fiancé, to be honest. He’s a kind, loving man who has embraced not only you but also your family. OK, he’s not much taller than you and he doesn’t like going out socialising very much – but just because your partner doesn’t like socialising with strangers doesn’t make him socially inept.

What is more important to you? Social events with strangers, or a warm family unit – because while your fiancé rejects the former, he’s embraced the latter wholeheartedly. You seem to be more worried about appearances than you are about the important things in life, and for that reason I think it’s your own confidence at the root of these feelings.