My trip home proved it’s a cliché for a good reason
They say you can never go back – or at least it is a cliché they roll out regularly in sport. It is something I have always thought made sense, given the laws of diminishing returns, but I hadn’t ever truly given it much consideration. That is until I went back up north for my week off. It was not a particularly uncommon occurrence, after all I have been making semi-regular trips back to Middlesbrough since August, or at least the part of the area where I grew up.
But I realised that I hadn’t actually been to Middlesbrough itself since at least Christmas 2019 – and my recollection of that time is hazy at best.
After having my connecting train cancelled, I found myself with an hour to kill and decided to venture into the town centre.
It certainly seemed a better idea than freezing to death while waiting on a draughty train platform.
However I had barely ventured outside of the station before I started to feel uneasy. Two years doesn’t seem like a long time but a lot has certainly changed.
I tried to find my way to the Sainsbury’s to get a drink for the train but I had completely forgotten how to get there.
I could picture the location in my mind and I knew I had to cut through a shopping centre, but the rest had become a blurry mess in my mind. I felt like I was trying to grab smoke and ended up having to Google it, just to jog my memory.
In the high street itself, all the shops had changed. River Island, Game, and more were gone. Debenhams and House of Fraser, also gone.
But the biggest blow was when I walked past what had been the barbers I had frequented for 25-plus years – where they had seen me grow from knee high – and realised it was gone. The door painted luminescent pink, the name changed completely.
It was all quite disorienting. I felt a bit like a ghost of a Middlesbrough past – a festively appropriate metaphor I know, but I’m just going to roll with it.
I have moved away, forged a new life and the town itself has done the same.
I am far more acquainted with the streets and the nooks and crannies of Portsmouth instead now.