Counting the days until I can forget Elf on the Shelf
It is December and, while our small people get excited, for many of us grown-ups it is the time of year when we do our best to be witty and entertaining. Or, at the very least, not forgetful asweplayourpartinthenew ‘tradition’ of Elf on the Shelf.
For anyone lucky enough to have no idea what I am talking about (I envyyou!)thenletmeeducateyou.
Elf on the Shelf migrated to the UK from America in recent years.
It starts with an elf arriving in your house on December 1 to keep an eye on your children and report back to the man in red.
Then every day in December before Christmas, once the kids are in bed, parentsplacetheelf in different locations in the house so he pops up somewherenewwhen they wake up in the morning.
But, of course, the pressure is on when you hear that other people’s elves have been up to all sorts through the night. From messy baking to playing with toys and throwing toilet roll all over the house (itwasveryappropriate for last year – the year of the toilet roll – but I digress).
Not only have you got the added pressure of actually remembering to do the elves before you go to bed, and not waking up in the night in a cold sweat because you have forgotten, you also have to think of things they can be doing that will just amaze your children... the naughtier the better!
Now,IavoidedElf ontheShelf until2019whenmyownmotherfelt my children were missing out, so decided to ‘invite’ two elves to my house (thanks, mum!).
So far the naughty elves have raided my son’s sock drawer, made ‘snow angels’ in the kitchen with flour and ate some of the chocolates off the Christmas tree. I really havelittleenergytobeanymore creative than that!
I wish I had gone down the route of some of my friends and put their elves in a quarantine jar for 14 days. But I was not that organised.
Instead, while the children are counting the days until Christmas Day, so will I be, but probably for very different reasons!
Waiting a whole week to watch the next episode of your favourite TV programme? What horrifying madness is this?
Well,thatwasthe reaction of my 12-yearold boy.
He has turned back the clock and discovered what television watching was like before the world of instant TV took over.
Back in my day as a child (oh goodness, that makes me sound positively ancient!) programmeswereonata certain time.
If youwantedtowatchthem, thenyouparkedyourbumonthe sofa at the appointed hour... or you missed them!
There was, of course, the option to attempt to record said programme with the fancy timer on your VHS but, if something went wrong,thenitwastough.
You have to think of things they can be doing that will just amaze your children
Thankfully technology has moved on and the ability to instantly record your favourite programmes or series, or either download or stream as you want to watch them, has created a whole new world of instant TV.
You can even pause it while you nip to the loo or make a cup of tea. Genius!
But, for those who have grown up never having to say they have ‘taped’ something, the idea of having to wait is a bizarre and alien concept.
And this week my son discovered just that to his utter bemusement.
This is because we, finally, got around to watching The
Mandalorian on Disney.
I inadvertently introduced him to the idea of binge-watching a series - something I have definitely been guilty of after polishing off The Crown with indecent haste.
And this story, fresh out of the Star Wars franchise, certainly got his attention.
We watched the first series throughout a couple of days and merrily moved on to the second series, until we hit a brick wall... no moreepisodes!
They are released weekly so he has to wait a lifetime (aka seven painful days!) until the next instalment.
Blaise Tapp is away.