Trapped in the house with a home-besotted child and guilt
When I became a mum there were many things for which I was not prepared – the overnight feeds, the early wake-ups, the constant work of ensuring your child is well-rested, well-fed, well looked after etc etc – the list is endless.
What I wasn’t prepared for though was all the mum guilt.
I’ve said it before and no doubt I shall say it again – the feelings of guilt that I have, usually on a daily basis, can be so hard to take sometimes because I’m constantly secondguessing my choices.
In the past few weeks (it all started before we went on holiday) Harley has become ridiculously clingy and, how shall I say, ‘mummified’.
It’s got to the point where I can’t really go to the bathroom without her yelling ‘mummy, mummy, where are you’.
I can deal with that – all children are needy right?
But what I’m struggling with at the moment apart from her hysterical cries and upset when I drop her off at nursery twice a week (which is a real killer) is the fact she just wants to be at home all the time – and I mean all the time.
If we go out her bottom lip starts quivering and she goes ‘mummy, home now’.
She says it repeatedly or just starts crying. It gets beyond difficult and it’s not just because I hate to see my little girl upset.
It’s because I work from home so I’m at home all the time.
Therefore the last thing I want to do when we’re together is spend even more time in our bungalow.
But since last Friday, other than a trip to her swimming lessons, two sessions at nursery and a morning tea at a garden centre, we’ve been indoors at home… continuously, and it’s driving me bonkers!
I’ve got serious cabin fever. But what’s a mum to do when racked with guilt that her daughter just wants to be at home in the comfort of her four walls?
Honestly, I hope you’re all enjoying this lovely weather somewhere nice because the chances are I’ll be at home – again.
But one thing’s for sure, that’s easier to deal with than this dreadful mum guilt thing that I’m consumed with on a daily basis.