Dear Fiona
My husband has developed a raging temper. Can we be happy together ever again?
QMy marriage was arranged between mine and my husband’s parents. At first, I was happy with their choice.
Now I am frightened to be around him, or say anything that might upset him. If he loses his temper, he flies into a terrible rage and says all kinds of hurtful things to me. Do you think we can ever have a good relationship again?
AIt could be possible. However, I can only see this happening if your husband is able to accept that he has a problem and then seeks appropriate help. His first step should be to speak to his doctor to discuss all of this. One option might be to wait until he is in a good mood and gently ask if something is bothering him that he might want to talk to a doctor about? However, if you think this is too risky, is there anyone in his family that could approach him, someone that he gets along with?
QI have been with my boyfriend since we were both 17. I’ve never loved anyone else and he has only ever been the one for me.
But I am beginning to worry about us as a couple. We have been together for four years but don’t talk much these days. He hardly ever goes out. I think I still love him, but something has changed between us.
AI agree, and what’s changed is you. You were a teenager when you got together, and now you are a young woman. Your needs and wants are no longer those of a teenager, and it seems clear that your boyfriend is not meeting at least one of those. Cracks are showing in this relationship, and you are having doubts about your boyfriend. Would some time away from it give you the space to decide if it’s what you really want? If you let this situation drift, you could be stuck in a zombie relationship a few years from now.
Write to Fiona Caine c/o Hollie Busby, 1000 Lakeside, North Harbour, Portsmouth PO6 3EN or hollie.busby@ nationalworld.com Fiona regrets that she cannot enter into personal correspondence, nor pass letters on to other readers.