Goodbye old friends
ou don’t have to be a fan of The Repair Shop to realise that human beings get attached to stuff.
I can understand some things - a particular trophy or vase that’s been passed down the generations, maybe a watch from a much-loved dad.
Everyone can see why that would be significant.
Have you ever become attached to weird household everyday things?
It was like letting go of a dear friendship when our 23-year-old sofa found a new home.
We used to build camps for the children with cushions. Goodbye, old friend.
The fact that my mother-in-law couldn’t get out of it and some adults refused to sit on it didn’t matter.
Our washing machine has finally died after a year of making more noise than a Vulcan Bomber at the air show. I was even sad to see that go.
‘We got that before you were born,’ I bored my daughter with my attachment issues.
She was not as connected to a washing machine as me.
Then the next item receiving a wave goodbye, our bed went this week.
We’ve got a small bedroom and over the past few months, the corner ends of the bed have started attacking my wife at night. I know what you’re thinking, but it's not the prosecco. How dare you. Offensive. No, it’s been building for a while.
Finally, I could procrastinate no longer. I was informed that we needed a change. We needed storage. We needed to stay married.
The bed has seen better days. This bit of kit is 30 years old.
The middle strip of wood has been replaced because it broke. Get in! No. Don’t be rude or crass.
It broke because one enthusiastic offspring did the mother of all run-andjumps and broke it clean in half.
Other than that, it’s okay and if you’re the kind of Jay Blades up cycler this planet needs, it’ll serve you well.
With a far too kind photo, we placed it on freecycle/free bay/free something and we had a request in about 20 minutes. I would have sold it but was too embarrassed and it had quite a bit of Sellotape still on it. Get in! No. don’t be rude or crass.
We had been persuaded to put Christmas decorations on the bed for when people stayed - a silly idea that didn’t really work.
When you move a bed in a key room there is one overriding subject that is impossible to ignore. There is enough dust to construct another human. It’s revolting. I’m so glad it’s hidden.
Do you remember Kim and Aggie from How Clean is Your House? Kim, from Pompey of course, would have been appalled. Aggie would have tested our bedroom and told us that we were going to be dead in 20 minutes if we didn’t change our ways.
I was sad to see the bed go. Sofa, washing machine, bed. I’d make a rubbish Buddhist. I seem to be able to emotionally attach to anything.
The helpful high point of the ‘letting go’ experience was the fella who collected the bed, now in bits.
As we loaded up his estate car, he told me that he’d just got home from work and was going to have a pint for the King’s Coronation.
His phone pinged with an urgent message from his other half. I attach to stuff. He had attached to the idea of a pint. Our wives had other plans. We’re both independent powerful men, in charge of our own destiny. or at least that’s the idea we’re both attached to.