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APPROACHING HIS GAY MIDLIFE CRISIS (AGAIN), MATT NEWBURY GOES TO EXTREME LENGTHS AT THE WINTER SWIMMING WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS IN LAPLAND AND MEETS WITH SANTA AS WELL
My gay midlife crisis (which began somewhere in my mid-20s) seems to be drawing me to ever more extreme patterns of behaviour. That’s how I find myself standing on the banks of a frozen Kemijoki River in Rovaniemi on a cold day in March.
The town on the Arctic Circle is not only the capital of Finnish Lapland but also the Official Hometown of Santa Claus®, although meeting the big man himself isn’t the main reason I’m here. I’ve come to take a dip in the frozen river as part of the Winter Swimming World Championships. Brrr, I feel cold just writing about it.
Around 1,200 people from 34 different countries have come to compete and a 25m pool (as well as a smaller dipping pool) has been cut into the 70cm thick ice for the extreme swimming competition. Nets are continually scooping ice from the water as it begins to freeze again. Forget that annoying ice bucket challenge, this is really going to cause the ultimate brain freeze. There’s added pressure as the young members of the local football team (FC Santa Claus, obviously) have just gone in ahead of me and are now watching from the comfort of the wood-fired hot tubs that line the river. I’m looking forward to joining them.
I’ve been warned not to dive in (as if…) so I make full use of the rustic wooden ladder and soon climb down into the coldest water I’ve ever experienced. Indeed, it’s so ridiculously frigid I can barely breathe, but I’m determined to at least have a little swim around for a minute or two. So, after putting a brave smile on for a couple of photos, I try and get my arms and legs moving, which is no easy feat. Already my hands and feet feel like they are going numb and cramping up. It’s time to try and get back up that ladder and into the waiting warm water followed by the sauna tent.
Going from freezing cold water into the hot spa actually hurts more than getting into the cold water in the first place. But I’ve soon acclimatised and started to enjoy one of the best natural highs I have ever experienced. Who’d have thought that I would ever be sitting in a hot tub watching truly insane people compete in races up and down a frozen river, against a stunning snowy backdrop?
Oh, and did I mention the football players I’m sharing the warm water with?
I’d flown from Heathrow via Helsinki on Finnair, an airline that has understandably been named Northern Europe’s Best Airline for the fourth year in a row. I’d been hoping to be able see the city from the air as we came into land, as remarkably it’s shaped like a reindeer’s head, built to a plan by visionary architect Alvar Aalto after it was destroyed by retreating Germans in 1944. However, so much snow is falling there’s a complete whiteout outside. Still, I’m sure this bit of architectural trivia excites the thousands of children who come here to visit Santa every year.
I’ve booked into City Hotel, which is right in the centre of town and surrounded by an unexpectedly trendy selection of shops, bars and restaurants. Although the city only has a population of around 60,000, there are also in excess of 6,000 university students here, many studying arts and tourism. This makes for a very young and trendy-feeling city centre.
It’s a great hotel, mixing the traditional with some designer modern touches. The hotel is also home to Monte Rosa and one of the most popular bistros in town, serving up some truly delicious Arctic cuisine. In the basement there’s also the Bull Bar and Grill, an American-style hangout popular with both locals and visitors. And they certainly don’t skimp on the portions.
I’d imagined that Lapland might be as restrictively expensive as some other areas of Scandinavia, but I was pleasantly surprised. That said, as well as treating myself to a wonderful meal in the hotel, I also popped around the corner the next night to sample a budget meal in the world’s most northern MacDonald’s. Just don’t tell anyone. Exploring the town is a magical experience, especially thanks to the fresh dusting of snow and I take a wander up to Lordi Square, for the opening ceremony of the championships. The square was renamed back in 2006 in honour of Lordi’s victory in the 2006 Eurovision Song Contest with Hard Rock Hallelujah.
It’s great to see so many people from so many different countries out celebrating and waving their flags with pride. Who’d have thought I’d ever attend an international sporting event representing my country? The ceremony finishes with Santa Claus himself officially opening proceedings and I vow to go and see him in his Arctic Circle home the next day.
Santa Claus Village (santaclausvillage.info) is located about 8 km northeast of Rovaniemi and is open throughout the year, for everyone who really does wish it could be Christmas every day. The Arctic Circle actually cuts right through the village, while Santa Claus Post Office is where all those letters to Santa from across the world ends up (a team of elves try and respond to as many as possible).
You can enjoy a variety of suitable activities while you are there, from reindeer sleigh rides
to snowmobile tours and even a visit to see the huskies. Of course, everyone really wants to see the big guy himself, although when I turned up in my swim gear he looked slightly perplexed and flatly refused to let me sit on his knee.
I couldn’t come this far north without a visit to the Arctic Snow Hotel – an incredible set of snow and ice structures rebuilt from scratch each year after melting in the spring sunshine. Located away from the city and out in the snowfields, it also makes the ideal place to spot the Northern Lights.
My visit began with an evening tour of the hotel itself, which is genuinely amazing. Each of the magical rooms has been created by a different snow artist and you genuinely feel like you’ve entered a fairy tale. The structure also contains an ice bar where you can quaff a range of shots from glasses actually made of ice. The atmospheric lighting shining through the ice seating and tables gives the bar a curious night club feeling, although being the only guest in there at that particular time, I resist the urge to dance and warm myself up.
The ice chapel is equally as impressive, although the restaurant looked a bit cold, so I was pleased to be taken to the Kota Restaurant, a traditional log cabin where a glow-fried salmon fillet was cooked on the fire in front of me, before being served on a carved wooden plate. Midmeal a cry went up – the aurora borealis was doing its thing in the sky outside and I’d sacrifice any meal to get a glimpse of that. Apparently the Northern Lights have been particularly elusive this winter, which is a shame as it had heavily been promoted as being one of the best years ever to catch a glimpse. Enjoying one of the most amazing shows in nature’s repertoire is certainly something everyone should see once in their lives and soon it’s me as well as the sky that is glowing.
Another quirk of the hotel is the snow sauna – something that you would imagine would be impossible. The structure is built completely from ice and snow and works as well as any sauna I have ever used. There is a bit of a secret – lots of the saunas are built at the start of the season, each with a very limited lifespan and once holes begin to appear in one structure, another can be opened. The saunas are also located near an open-air hot tub – just don’t step on the friendly reindeer reclining in the snow like the hotel’s pet dog. From 1 December you’ll also be able to stay in one of 15 unique Arctic Glass Igloos, perfect for watching the Northern Lights from the comfort of your bed.
If you’re only in Rovaniemi for a long weekend like me, there are a couple of must-see attractions. Art lovers will really enjoy the Korundi House of Culture (korundi.fi) home to two impressive institutions – the Chamber Orchestra of Lapland and the Rovaniemi Art Museum. The latter is a wonderful collection representing Finnish modern art from 1940 onwards, while it’s worth taking a peek in the concert hall to enjoy the superb architecture.
You won’t be able to miss the iconic structure of Arktikum (artikum.fi), a museum and science centre in one. It’s basically burrowed into the banks of the Ounasjoki River (the other river that meets at Rovaniemi) with an incredible glass-roofed central arcade and represents how people from Lapland have always sheltered themselves away underground to survive the harsh winters.
The buildings are home to two institutions, the Museum of Lapland and the Arctic Center which is affiliated with the University of Lapland. I spent a fascinating afternoon here learning about Sami (or Lapp) culture, the history of the city and also about Arctic geology and environmental issues. Anybody who doesn’t believe that global warming is real should take a look at some of the evidence presented here. Meanwhile there are some terrifying stuffed animals on display – if they had filmed Night at the Museum 3 here, Ben Stiller would have been in a lot of trouble. If you don’t fancy Avantouinti (ice-hole swimming) there are plenty of other winter activities to enjoy from ice-fishing to a round of ice golf on the frozen river using neon golf balls. The Ounasvaara Skiing Centre (ounasvaara.fi) just outside the town for those who enjoy more traditional winter sports, while the city also boasts ice skating rinks and snowmobile hire. If you do fancy braving the cold water and joining the 120,000 Finns who go ice swimming regularly, there are also loads of possibilities... just ask a local. You’ll feel amazing, just don’t stay in longer than five minutes, as that’s when the hypothermia kicks in.
The next Winter Swimming World Championships is being held in Siberia in 2016 and a place that might not be quite as gayfriendly as Lapland. That said, if anyone fancies joining me for the performance round (a team swim routine involving fancy dress to music) I’m sure we could come up with a wonderfully flamboyant protest swim...