BABY­MAK­ING

D. and her wife Car­lota start a fam­ily

Pride Life Magazine - - SPONSORED FEATURE -

L ong be­fore we were all grown up and re­spectable, my wife and I al­ways knew we wanted chil­dren.

I had al­ways thought adop­tion would be the surest route, but hav­ing fallen in love with a Spa­niard and moved to Madrid, I dis­cov­ered that adop­tion was not only in­cred­i­bly dif­fi­cult, but also pro­hib­i­tively ex­pen­sive. So when we started dis­cussing par­ent­hood, we de­cided that when the time came, we’d go the in­sem­i­na­tion route.

We read the books on queer par­ent­ing and, af­ter much dis­cus­sion, came to the de­ci­sion we should keep things sim­ple and opt for donor sperm and use a pri­vate clinic.

While we were build­ing our “pa­tient his­tory” to ac­cess fer­til­ity treat­ment through our in­sur­ers, we be­gan to browse on­line for sperm, fi­nally find­ing “our guy” who we gave a suit­ably Scan­di­na­vian name, hav­ing pulled him from a Dan­ish sperm bank, found our­selves a good gy­nae­col­o­gist, and started the seem­ingly end­less cy­cle of tests and ex­am­i­na­tions.

When the day of our ap­point­ment at the fer­til­ity clinic fi­nally came we were ex­cited, but felt pre­pared with our re­li­giously-tracked cy­cle notes, donor print­out, blood tests, X-rays and scans. Car­lota and I had been to­gether for al­most a decade, had built our life to­gether, were think­ing of adding a puppy to our nascent fam­ily, and were ready to get the baby­mak­ing show on the road!

We sat down with the head doc­tor, gy­nae­col­o­gist and fer­til­ity nurse, all of whom were friendly and hap­pily an­swered our ques­tions but told us firmly that all donor sperm was, un­der Span­ish law, 100% anony­mous; so they’d find us a match but our care­fully se­lected tall, hippy Scandi was out of the ques­tion.

We’d agreed that I’d carry the baby some time ear­lier for a num­ber of rea­sons, the main one be­ing that I’m a cou­ple of years younger than

“We’d been to­gether for al­most a decade, had built our life to­gether,

were think­ing of adding a puppy to our nascent fam­ily, and were ready to get the baby­mak­ing show on

the road!”

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