‘We know this won’t be for ever’

Alison Hughes, 54, from West Sussex, is married and has two daughters. Her eldest, Becky, 30, returned home four years ago. ‘When Becky decided to come back home, I didn’t really think about what it would mean for me. She’d been living independently for six years, first at university, then moving to London to be an events organiser. But I knew she was unhappy and stressed, so I was relieved she was taking a proactive step.

It was certainly an adjustment. My husband Michael and I were used to having the place to ourselves. But we could all see that Becky returning to live with us was the best thing for her.

After a few temporary jobs, Becky now works in equine therapy – using horses to help people through personal issues. She is much happier doing this. But because she’s on a low income, we have decided not to charge her rent. Her salary places enough restrictions on her as it is, and we want her to be happy.

We don’t have a formal arrangement in place. We all eat dinner together most nights and Becky pitches in around the house. The hardest thing I’ve found is coping with all the extra belongings! But Becky and I now spend much more quality time together than we used to, going to pub quizzes and the cinema.

We all know this arrangement won’t be for ever. I worry that Becky feels guilty for living with us, but I don’t begrudge her. I just feel sad that she’s not living the independent life she’d like to.’ BECKY SAYS ‘When I moved back, I was burned out from a demanding job. Moving home felt like the only option for my health. It was, of course, a huge adjustment. At first, I got lots of: “Where are you going and who with?”, which felt like an invasion of my privacy. But they’ve learned to give me my own space, and I’ve come to accept that they only ask because they care.

I do miss having my own place but, financially, it isn’t possible right now. My parents appreciate that things are difficult for my generation, and I tell them often how grateful

I am. I’m saving hard so that next time I fly the nest, it will be for good.’