HOW LOVE CAN MAKE ALL THE DIFFERENCE

Watching a loved one struggle with dementia is heart-breaking. Here’s how you can help them cope with the symptoms, says Kathryn Smith from the Alzheimer’s Society

BE POSITIVE

Someone with advanced dementia might have forgotten the last 20 years but they can still feel emotions, including love. Even if they don’t recognise the person in front of them, they will have a feeling of familiarity or love associated with that person. When I visit my aunt who has dementia, she has no idea who I am any more, but I always greet her with a smile and a hug and she feels the connection between us. Smile and be warm so that even if they don’t recognise you, they’ll recognise the positive connection between you.

KEEP UP INTERESTS

At the moment, there isn’t a cure for Alzheimer’s and the treatments available are limited, but people with dementia can still live well. Often, hobbies they did many years before will stay with them and they’ll remember what to do automatically.

It’s great if they can do the things they used to do, but with support. So if your mum used to like cooking or knitting, then keep doing those activities, but be patient and be prepared for her to get things wrong. Songs can bring back memories and emotions, too, so joining a singing group for dementia patients can often have a powerful effect.

BEAT LONELINESS

People with dementia can feel loneliness, boredom and frustration, so try to get them doing something active, as it will help them cope with their symptoms. There’s so much evidence to show that people who are happy and occupied, and not lonely, have better mental health, which leads to better physical health as well. Try taking them for a walk, even if it’s just around the block.

LOOK AFTER YOURSELF The best piece of advice I have is be kind to yourself and have a break when you need to because being a carer can be very hard. We can help. Alzheimer’s Society takes 57,000 calls a year and we run a course to equip carers with the knowledge and the skills to help family members with dementia.

See alzheimers.org.uk for more information.