MANAGING MOOD SWINGS
Do you find yourself suddenly feeling emotional so you either shout or burst into tears? Whether at home or work, Diane Danzebrink, a life coach and founder of menopausesupport.co.uk, has a tip that will act as an emergency brake you can use anywhere: Say very firmly in your head, in your most authoritative voice, ‘Stop!’ This breaks the mood, makes you stand back and prevents you telling whoever’s in your firing line to get lost!
Concentrate on breathing in for a count of one and out for a count of two. Do this 10 times. It may sound a lot but it takes seconds, may avert a meltdown (yours or theirs) and no one will know.
Anyone can learn the techniques used in cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and, while they won’t magic menopause symptoms away, Professor Hunter’s work has shown they can make a real difference. Try these exercises:
JUST BREATHE Learning to take slow, even breaths from your stomach is a key technique called ‘paced breathing’. You can use it any time. Practise by putting one hand on your chest and one hand on your stomach and breathe in pushing the stomach out as you do so and keeping your chest still. Now take slower and deeper breaths for a count of 10.
You can do it lying down at first if that’s easier. Breathing this way allows more oxygen into our lungs.
NOTICE YOUR THOUGHTS Most work pressures are not actually life threatening. Try writing down your thoughts, feelings and the way you behave as a result. For example, you think: ‘I’m never going to get this done.’ You feel upset, worried and stressed. You react by working even harder, get snappy with anyone who interrupts and your heart starts racing. Now stop and ask yourself, ‘Are you underestimating your ability to cope?’ Remember, thoughts are not facts, they’re just one view of the situation.
BE YOUR OWN CHEERLEADER
If you start to think ‘I’m not good enough’, ask yourself if there is any evidence? We are always harder on ourselves. Make a point of noticing things that go well, both at work and in life. Think about your strengths and qualities. They haven’t vanished overnight. Menopause is not so much an ending but the start of a new stage.
LEARN MORE Professor Hunter’s free fact sheet on CBT is available at womens-health-concern.org. She is also co-author (along with Melanie Smith) of Managing Hot Flushes
And Night Sweats (Routledge).
You may be able to get access to CBT on the NHS – ask your GP.