How to enjoy a happily ever after

The secrets to a lasting, loving relationship

Author Helen, 49, and Rob, 52, live with their children, Alice, 18, and Paddy, 15, in Colchester, Essex.

Ifirst met Rob 41 years ago when I was eight and he was 11. He was my brother Ian’s best friend and our mums worked together. My clearest memory of him from that time is when he came along with my dad and my brother to collect me from my grandparents’ house in Wales, where I had been staying for the holidays. Rob spent most of his time in Fishguard crying with homesickness, and I remember feeling really sorry for him.

Our paths continued to cross over the next few years as friends, but when I was 17 and Rob was 20, we began a relationship. Rob sang and played bass guitar in a successful local band and I started to see him in a different light. He was charismatic and talented, as well as funny and clever. He was good-looking but not TOO good-looking – like a young Kenneth Branagh or Hugh Laurie – and he wore slightly weird clothes. I liked that he wasn’t a sheep following the herd. We were both going out with other people when we just suddenly looked at each other one day and said, ‘I think I’d like to be with you instead!’

Everyone expected us to break up when I left our hometown of Harwich in Essex and went to university in London in 1988, but we had other ideas. Rob got

Dating aged 20 and 17 When they were children

a transfer with his company so that he could move to London too, before giving it up to become a full-time musician. We lived there for years, with Rob mainly working in the music industry, while I realised my ambition of becoming a TV producer. When I became an author and started to take time out from TV to write books, Rob was immensely supportive.

Married in 1994 ‘Everyone expected us to break up, but we had other ideas’

Our wedding day was on 19 March 1994. Even though we had been together for seven years by then, for some reason we did the whole thing within six weeks and it couldn’t have been a more perfect day if we’d planned it for months: the sun shone, we smiled non-stop and neither of us wanted it to end.

When our first child, Alice, was born in 2000, we moved back to Harwich. Her brother, Paddy, followed three years later. By then Rob was working as a freelance TV editor, and we were both able to be flexible with our jobs, meaning we took it in turns to work full-time, while the other looked after the children. Rob has always been very supportive of my career and was thrilled to be able to spend time at home with the children as they grew up.

Rob and I have now been together for 30 years. These days, he actually looks better than he did when he was younger! He has a full head of thick hair, hasn’t yet gone grey and does a lot of running, so he’s in really good shape. Yes, I still fancy him! Like all marriages, we’ve had our ups and downs, but we’ve learned some valuable lessons along the way about how to keep a relationship happy and thriving.