‘Good things happen when you stay positive’

Sarah Beeny shares some wise words and her property expertise

Sarah, 46, lives in London with her husband, artist Graham Swift, and their four sons Billy, Charlie, Rafferty and Laurie, who are aged between eight and 13.

MY FAVOURITE TIME OF YEAR

I absolutely love spring. In fact, given the choice, I would have 11 months of April and May and one of December and all the rest would disappear. May is the perfect month: all the greens are so much greener. Everything is fresh and new and there’s still the prospect of an amazing summer. The countryside is so exciting in spring. It’s the best time.

Mother’s Day is a highlight for me.

The boys always make me cards, which is lovely. I’m the most pathetically sentimental mother in the world and keep them all! As a mother, I’m a mix of overindulgent and impatient. But every day I look at the kids with wonderment about how utterly fabulous they are! My eldest son is 13, so the teenage years are upon us! The best advice I have been given is to keep talking. And we talk a lot. I’ve never not answered a question or lied to him, and he doesn’t lie to me. I’m not very strict, but the deal is that if they don’t lie to me, I can be more lenient, because I don’t have to set too many boundaries and rules.

I’m very lucky that my mother was a feminist. And I’m incredibly grateful for the generation above me who fought to give me the rights that I have. I don’t intend to kiss goodbye to them.

But I still think there is a balance we need to find. For a long time, I’ve felt if you’re a working mother you almost have to pretend to be a man to be successful. A lot of the burdens of domestic life still fall on working women. If a woman doesn’t turn up to sports day, everyone will judge her, whereas if a man doesn’t, everyone thinks, ‘Poor guy, he’s working so hard.’ That needs to change. We talk to our sons a lot about equality. Graham is very liberated and feminist in his outlook, so I hope that has rubbed off on them. It’s an ongoing conversation in our household.

TRYING TO KEEP A BALANCE

People ask me how I juggle four children, a marriage and a thriving career. The answer is, there’s not much time to worry about it! So I just get on with it. But someone told me the other day that I have a reputation for not taking work if it interferes with time with my children. I said, ‘Is that meant to be an insult?’ I certainly didn’t take it as one. I said, ‘Great – thank you so much.’ On my deathbed, will I say, ‘I really wish I’d done that

job?’ I don’t think so. So I am okay with that reputation. I think I have found the right balance.

My ideal weekend is quite chilled. On Friday we might all watch a film.

I’m a bit technophobic, so there’s no telly or computers during the week. There’s always lots of running around on Saturday. One son does fencing and some do football, so there are football matches all over the place. On Sunday, we might cycle to a pub for lunch. Or we might go and stay with my brother in the countryside. We also own a field an hour from London and sometimes stay there in our little cabin in a wood, which has no power. That’s my idea of fun.

Unfortunately, there’s no such thing as time for me!

I recognise I’d be better at everything if I had some me-time. But that’s always the first thing that goes. I feel so guilty for having it, and if there’s too much on, something has to give, and it’s not going to be time with the kids. I only have time to exercise very occasionally, but it’s not part of my routine, so that’s the first thing to go.

I hate clothes shopping with

a passion. And I always have. I consider shopping a terrible waste of time, so I often go to Asda and buy any clothes that fit the children and think, ‘That’ll do’. But my eldest son now has opinions – and quite likes shopping!

‘Life is for the grabbing and I can’t bear the thought of it slipping by’

I have an obsession with jackets, though.

I have lots of them and quite a few are from Betty Barclay, who makes the most lovely clothes. But really, I just want clothes that fit and are in the cupboard, so

I don’t have to think about it.

Graham and I used to have a date night once a week when the kids were little. We had a full-time nanny who babysat on Wednesdays. But we haven’t had that for years. We’re still together after more than 25 years. It really helps that he makes me laugh. And he is my best friend – that’s the truth. He’s good-looking, too, which also helps!

I don’t sleep brilliantly – I’m a bit of an insomniac.

But my view is that you can sleep when you’re dead! I’ve got ants in my pants, so if I can’t sleep, I’ll get up and do something. Life is for the grabbing and I can’t bear the thought of it slipping by without me noticing.

Neither Graham nor I are great at making plans.

Every summer we get to July and think, ‘Oh dear, we haven’t booked a holiday!’ I wish we were the kind of people who could plan our summer holiday in January, but we aren’t. The same happens on 23 December when I realise that we haven’t sent any Christmas cards. All I need is for everything to stop for a month so I can catch up and get everything up to speed – then I’ll be fine! I do often feel like I’m running after a train that has already left.

MY PASSION FOR BUSINESS

I still have a lot of ideas for business ventures. My ideas usually stem from something I want – but that isn’t there. The dating site mysinglefriend.com is the perfect example of that. It was the first website I created and came about because I had a friend I liked fixing up on dates. I met someone else who had

a friend who was single and we were working out ways to get them to meet and see photos of each other. I woke up in the night and thought, ‘Wouldn’t it be brilliant if everyone could do that? Why is there not a website that does that?’ So we built one.

It was the same with my property sales website, Tepilo.

I kept on wondering why the only way of getting your house seen on the internet involved paying thousands, when the web’s meant to be free? Estate agents’ fees are annoying, partly because they are a percentage of the property’s value even though an estate agent has to do the same amount of work whatever your house is worth. I have another new business in the pipeline at the moment that’s launching this summer.

My advice to other entrepreneurs stuck in a nine-to-five job is: be brave.

It does take courage to start something new. You have to accept that you only gain if you dare to risk. You can lose everything. But that’s part of the thrill in a way, and you can’t start your own business if you aren’t prepared to take any risks.

Bright ideas are ten a penny – it is making them happen that is the hard thing. You have to be absolutely, fundamentally determined, which is a mindset. But you also have to really believe in the idea. When you have one, tell a few people and invite them to challenge it. If you can’t argue back and defend your idea, then it’s not a very good one. But if it passes that test, you need to not take no for an answer and make it happen.

It’s not enough to create a business that people will like.

Make a plan so you have something to work towards, rather than just bobbing along. Businesses can drift along and be directionless, so you need a goal to know where you’re going. Most importantly, don’t quit your day job – until you know it is a goer. It’s amazing how much you can fit in at weekends and evenings if you really put your mind to it.

FRIENDSHIP, FOOD AND BEING 40-PLUS

Friendship is really important to me. My brother and Graham are my best mates! And I have some amazing friends who are absolutely gorgeous. I have a friend called Sarah, who I went to nursery school with. And I’m really close to my brother’s wife.

I love going out for supper! I like waiters bringing me the food and taking the plates away, which means you can have a proper conversation. If you have a dinner party, you have to spend the whole day buying food, cooking it, and then clearing it all up – and you don’t have a chance to talk to anyone!

I am not into cooking – at all. Occasionally I’ll bake cakes, but the rest of my cooking’s all about necessity. I’ll mass produce three lasagnes and four fish pies and put them in the freezer so I can whip them out whenever I need to. And I’ve got lots of brilliant tricks: always buy pre-chopped frozen onions, which means you can make a Bolognese in about three minutes! I sometimes use frozen mashed potato for shepherd’s pie, which means no peeling. And I make what I call a ready-meal roast using frozen roast potatoes and parsnips, peas, frozen stuffing balls and a roast chicken. It takes minutes to prepare and is just delicious!

There are highs and lows about being in my 40s. One of the nicest things is that I have more confidence. The TV projects that I take on now have to be really interesting – I aim for quality rather than quantity. When I make a decision, I’m sure about it. I’m more self-assured than when I was younger. And that’s a very good thing.

‘Bright ideas are ten a penny. It’s making them happen that’s hard’