Women making a difference
Meet the readers who have helped others with their volunteering
‘Every time I complete a challenge, I uncover a bit more of myself ’ After her husband was killed in Afghanistan, Jacqui Thompson, 52, from Nottingham, turned her grief into a force for good.
‘Gary and I had been married for 22 years. He was my best friend, the father of our five lovely girls, and even now, 10 years on, losing him is still hard to process.
Gary had his own engineering company, but when he was 48 he decided he wanted to join the RAF Reservists in his spare time. I think he just wanted something extra in his life. The girls and I joked that it was some kind of midlife crisis, but it was typical of him – he was always such a positive person, always the first to volunteer for something. When, two years later, Gary was told he was being deployed to Afghanistan, none of us believed it would ever happen. The girls asked if he’d be safe, and he told them he’d be working in an office; I could see he was lying, but he wanted to protect them. Only seven weeks later, Gary and his friend Livi were killed when their Land Rover was blown up by a landmine as it crossed a shallow river.
I was still in shock, struggling to come to terms with the enormity of it, and trying to help the girls – Aimee, Jade, Kelly, Laurie and Jordan, then aged 16 to 22 – when a letter arrived from the Royal Air Force Benevolent Fund containing a cheque. I’d not thought about how we’d survive without the money that Gary brought in, but they clearly had. From that moment, I knew they had my back. The relief of knowing we had a safety blanket was indescribable.
CHALLENGES FOR CHARITY
So when Gary’s cousin, Jana, suggested trekking up Mount Kilimanjaro, I found myself agreeing to do it with her to raise money for the Benevolent Fund. I went from a mum-of-five who liked to be in
‘What helps is to do things I never would have thought possible’
her slippers and pyjamas to one who climbed up Africa’s highest mountain! It was terrifying. I suffered dreadful headaches, sickness and nosebleeds on the 16,100ft ascent. “Why am I doing this?” I asked myself, but I knew why: it was to carry on Gary’s legacy.
Reaching the top was bittersweet.
For the first time since Gary’s death, I felt pure happiness. I couldn’t believe what I had achieved. Climbing that freezing mountain didn’t make the pain go away, but it helped me make peace with it.
Since then, I’ve found what helps is to do things I never would have thought possible by taking on new challenges. Climbing mountains, wing-walking and taking part in extreme obstacle courses through rivers of mud… every time I complete a new challenge, I uncover a bit more of myself. That sense of self-worth and achievement has brought something new and wonderful to my life. I push myself to do these things because I know Gary would, and I know he’d love every second.
The other thing that drives me is raising money and awareness for the RAF Benevolent Fund, which helped me put the girls through university. Knowing the fund is there for others who feel as lost, alone and broken as we did, brings me huge comfort. I’ve raised thousands of pounds for the fund, but also worked hard to spread the word about its work.
Four grandchildren have been born since Gary’s death, and he is never out of my thoughts. I still love and miss him so much. He was always the first to help out in any way he could. I know he would be proud that I’m doing something I care about so passionately.’