Lonely? You’re not on your own
Nine million people in the UK regularly feel isolated – and it’s not just the elderly. We spoke to the new minister for loneliness, Tracey Crouch, about how we can all tackle this growing problem
How we can all help tackle this growing issue
In the modern world, we’re more connected than ever – so why is it that so many of us have never felt more alone? Whether it’s long days as a new mum, missing your children when they move out of the family home, having no one to talk to or simply feeling like nobody understands your problems, loneliness is a feeling we can all recognise.
It’s a serious growing concern in the UK, and one that the late Jo Cox MP felt passionately about. Before her tragic murder by a far-right terrorist in June 2016, she commissioned a report looking into the problem. At the time, she said, ‘Young or old, loneliness doesn’t discriminate. It is something that many of us could easily help with.’
The findings of the Jo Cox Commission make worrying reading, with one in 10 pensioners saying that they’ve had no regular contact or conversation with a friend or relative in more than a month. But it’s not just the elderly who are feeling this way. In fact, 40% of those aged 17-25 also admit that they’re lonely. New mums, carers and disabled people have all admitted to feeling this acute sense of isolation. Loneliness can – and does – affect everyone at any stage of their life. Experts believe that long-term loneliness is worse for our health than obesity and physical inactivity – in fact, it can be as detrimental as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. MP and Government minister Tracey Crouch, a 42-year-old mum-of-one, believes we can all play a part in tackling the problem.
She explains how...
Have you experienced loneliness?
My son, Freddie, was born two years ago and, when my partner [BBC radio Kent presenter Steve Ladner] went back to work after his paternity leave, there were definitely moments when I felt quite alone. All of a sudden, you’re left with a baby, and you don’t know quite what to do
with yourself. I was an older mum, and I discovered that many of the support classes available for pregnant women were focused towards a younger age group. I used to go out every day and push the pram to my local supermarket so that I’d have somebody to talk to. I’ve never experienced acute loneliness, and I am lucky that I’ve always had a strong support network. But some people in similar situations don’t have that, so I can see how easy it would be for a new mum to hide herself away. That highlights what this initiative is all about – it’s not just older people who are affected by loneliness.
What are the main causes?
People will experience loneliness for very different reasons. Even people who have busy lives, large families and good support networks can find themselves feeling isolated. Loneliness can arise from the breakdown of a relationship. It
can be brought on by older children leaving the family home, or by the loss of support networks when neighbours or friends move away, for example. It can affect young, old and middle-aged people alike, and it’s important to remember that loneliness is not just about being alone.
How can you tell if someone is lonely?
We’re currently looking at how we can identify acute loneliness, because it’s not always easy to pinpoint. However,
I think talking is key. When my local fire brigade in Kent tests smoke alarms in vulnerable communities, the firefighters quite often have a chat to the residents there to find out whether they have family, or whether they’re alone and isolated. If the firefighters find out that someone is at risk of loneliness, they can direct that person to organisations that can help, or talk to social services to make sure they get the additional support that they need. A simple conversation can make a huge difference.
Are you proud to be upholding Jo Cox’s legacy?
I didn’t know Jo personally, but I have strong memories of watching from across the House of Commons chamber with huge admiration as she raised this important issue with dedication and passion. The work that Jo did when she was alive and what the commission has done since has been phenomenal, and
I feel enormously proud and privileged to be taking her legacy forward.
How important is it that we find a solution to this problem?
It’s hugely important – both for our health and overall wellbeing. As part of this work, I want to remove the stigma around the issue of loneliness and isolation. It’s normal to feel lonely at times, and we shouldn’t be frightened to admit it to ourselves and others. Loneliness is by no means a new issue – so it’s time we tackled it properly.
‘A simple conversation can make a huge difference’