We’ll always be wild about Harry!
Kathy Lette is smitten with the soon-to-be-married prince
I’m currently curled up in the foetal position, sobbing. Why? Because the most eligible bachelor in the world is knotting his nuptials this month. Of course, I’m talking about Harry. Yes, the rascally royal redhead is no longer footloose and fiancée free.
Single women the world over are in mourning. Why? Well, there are many props that add to a man’s allure, but chief among these is a castle. Raised on fairy tales, hankering after a prince is ingrained into the female psyche.
I first fell for Harry at the royal polo. As a writer, I’m always on the lookout for material, so when a friend asked me to be his plus-one, of course I accepted. When Clarence House saw my name on the guest list, they enquired if I’d like to present the cups to Princes William and Harry (they were clearly very low on celebs that day). As I stood on the lawn awaiting the Princes, I asked the organiser what I needed to do. He looked down his nose at me
(he was the kind of bloke who sends his shirts out to be stuffed), and said dismissively, ‘You just present the cup and then kiss them on the cheek.’
I could see Prince William walking towards me and he looked so bored I thought I’d liven things up.
‘Apparently, I have to kiss you… do you want tongue?’ I joked. (Being Aussie
‘The young prince may be regal, but he’s also a rebel’
means you can get away with lots of mischief as Brits just presume you were brung up badly.)
‘Oh!’ William blushed, ‘Perhaps later!’ William returned to his team and told Harry who bent double with laughter. When Harry approached, I repeated my cheeky offer.
‘Oh yeah!’ he laughed sassily, then scooped me up and pressed his lips to mine. Now, if ever I was going to be thrown into the Tower, this would be the moment. But instead of boomeranging me back to Botany Bay, I got the sense that Harry was relieved not to be treated like a porcelain prince.
I was so disarmed by his charm that, despite the age gap, I told my chortling friends that if I played my cards right, I could marry into the royal family.
Of course, I knew I was deluded. But that is the effect Harry has on the female of the species. In fact, the eligible Prince must have been very grateful for all that military training when it came to outmanoeuvring the many women who had him in their sights. Those commando skills must have definitely come in handy for damsel dodging.
Why are we all mad about Harry? To be frank, most of us just feel so maternal towards the lad. He won our collective hearts the day we watched him, aged 12, trailing behind his mother’s funeral cortege, shellshocked and grief-stricken, yet dignified and stoic.
And when he grew up, we were transfixed by his bad-boy antics, as he sowed whole plantations of wild oats. He may be regal, but he’s also a rebel. The Prince was caught drinking underage (a case of hic, hic hooray!). He was spotted buying a fur thong from Selfridges and a pink G-string was found in his bedroom at Eton. He was even snapped playing strip billiards in a Las Vegas hotel room...
But there’s a serious side to the wild child, too, exemplified by his service in Afghanistan. Nor is his heroism limited to the battlefield. Harry’s championing of mental health charities, talking openly about the counselling he sought after two years of ‘total chaos’ while he struggled to come to terms with his mother’s death, took a lot of courage. Usually one must do open-heart surgery to know what goes on inside an upper-class Brit. Yet Harry stripped off to his emotional underwear to reveal all.
And the Invictus Games, a Paralympicstyle event for injured servicemen and women, wouldn’t have got any traction without Harry’s enthusiastic patronage.
So when Harry announced his engagement, how I wanted to dislike Meghan. Surely Ms Markle’s sparkle was fake – a zircon, and not a real diamond? But everything about this impressive feminist campaigner sounds so genuine, so we can only be delighted that the young Prince has found a worthy alter ego and wish him every joy in the world. Kathy Lette feels sure her latest novel, Best Laid Plans (Bantam Press), would make a perfect wedding pressie!