Stay forever young? No thanks!

Sidestep surgery, says Caroline Quentin – ageing is a privilege

Have you ever done that thing where you put your hands on either side of your face and pull the loose skin backwards to see what you’d look like with a facelift? My face was looking particularly wobblesome in the bathroom mirror this morning, so I gave it a little stretch and allowed my imagination to roam. What if, instead of getting the boiler replaced, I used that cash to tighten my jawline?

Cosmetic procedures are commonplace now. Everywhere I look, there’s someone who has fatter lips, a bigger bust or a smaller nose than they used to have. I recently attended a showbiz event where it seemed that everyone – both men and women – had been altered. There were lots of old friends and some new faces, and a lot of new faces on old friends!

Even those of us who don’t feel the need to take the drastic step of surgery still whiten our teeth, pluck our brows and dye our lashes. The beauty industry will always find new ways to make us spend. It’s commerce, but sometimes there’s something darker, too, because it preys on our insecurities, our desire to fit in, to be forever young, and that worries me.

There’s an entire generation of young women (and some men) who are almost entirely hairless. The accessibility of pornography means the current ‘norm’ is to remove underarm, leg and pubic hair, to look pre-pubescent. I don’t need to spell out the unpleasant connection here.

We should treat our faces and bodies like fine wines: they should be allowed to age well. But, unlike wine, we don’t need a smooth finish to be desirable. The signs of ageing are not ugly; they are a declaration that we’ve been blessed with the time to live long, full lives. Whether we have a lifted or a sinking ‘butt’, a bosom filled with silicone or one that you can tuck into your waistband, be kind to yourself and to others, particularly when it comes to appearance, as there’s a lucrative, clinical industry out there lying in wait for all of us.

Ageing is a privilege. I’m in my 50s now and, as every year passes, I’m so grateful to be around to see my children grow up. I’m getting older, and my face and body are also getting older. So far, I haven’t felt the desire to go under the knife. I might one day, but at the moment I’m going to be content with pulling my jowls back using the palms of my hands.