HOW TO EASE YOUR ANXIETY
The experts give their advice on the best ways to achieve calm.
MAKE CHANGES
‘Try to prevent anxiety from escalating in the first place,’ says Dr Bijlani. ‘This is best achieved with a healthy work/life balance – be assertive with your employer and others if you find yourself taking on more work or social activities than you feel comfortable with. And the benefits of regular exercise, reducing caffeine (which can increase your heart rate), good quality sleep and avoiding alcohol, as well as allowing sufficient time for rest and relaxation, are well established.’
ADDRESS THE MENOPAUSE
‘Anxiety can be a common symptom of the menopause as a result of low hormone levels,’ says Dr Louise Newson, GP and menopause specialist (newsonhealth.co.uk). ‘Many women tell me they have a “sense of dread”; others say anxiety stopped them driving, using public transport or going on holiday. In addition, menopausal symptoms such as hot flushes, memory problems and reduced libido can lead to worsening anxiety. Along with considering your lifestyle in the perimenopause and menopause, taking the right type of hormone replacement therapy (HRT)
can really help. Many women find they feel calmer, more motivated and generally much happier when they take it.’
ASSESS ANXIOUS THOUGHTS
‘Look for what we call thinking errors,’ says Rowan. ‘For example, are you catastrophising (leaping to the worst possible scenario) or mind-reading (believing you know what others are thinking)? Once you’ve assessed an anxious thought, try your best to not carry out the unhelpful or avoidant behaviours that would usually follow it.’
HAVE A TOOLKIT
Anxiety attacks can be scary, but there are strategies for easing your way out. ‘Find something to fix your eye on to, and just notice your breath,’ says Audrey. ‘Bringing awareness to it will change it, as we often hold our breath or overbreathe when we’re very anxious. Don’t fight the anxiety, as that will make it worse.’
‘A top tip is to fill your mouth with saliva,’ says hypnotherapist Marisa Peer, author of I Am Enough (iamenough. com). ‘This might sound bizarre, but it works quickly. A dry mouth is a symptom of nervousness, whereas a wet mouth means you’re relaxed (think drooling), so wetting your mouth signals to your
brain you are relaxed. Or sing a song in your head – it can instantly change your state of mind to a more positive one.’
FEEL THE FEAR AND DO IT ANYWAY
It might be easier said than done, but it’s important not to avoid things that make us anxious, as this reinforces the message that they’re dangerous when they’re not. ‘Avoidance doesn’t work – all it does is keep you anxious,’ says Rowan. ‘If the activity seems insurmountable, prepare for it and break it down. Start with easier tasks and work up to the more difficult ones. For example, if you’re anxious about driving, start with a small trip on quiet roads and slowly build up to busier journeys. You’ll feel anxious but tolerate it and, in the end, will feel less so.’
ASK FOR HELP
For some people, lifestyle changes may be enough. If not, therapy may be helpful. There are several types of talking therapy, with cognitive behavioural therapy
(CBT) available on the NHS for anxiety disorders. ‘Medication is an option. There is sound research on the superiority of medication plus psychological treatment for moderate to severe anxiety, rather than each one alone,’ says Dr Bijlani. ‘Medication helps recalibrate disordered chemicals in the brain that can contribute to heightened anxiety and, once you feel calmer, you’ll be able to benefit from strategies discussed in your therapy much more effectively.’
EXPERIENCE MINDFULNESS
‘It’s a common misconception that mindfulness is a just a relaxation exercise,’ says Rowan. ‘It’s enormously helpful in dealing with anxiety because it teaches us to observe thoughts and feelings and distance ourselves from them, without being overwhelmed. It’s not possible to switch off an anxious thought – like pushing a beach ball under water, it will just pop back up. With mindfulness, we learn to let the ball bob around without it being all we can see. It takes practice but it’s well worth doing.’ For more information, search for ‘mindfulness’ on nhs.uk.
CHANGE YOUR VISUAL IMAGE
‘When we’re in a spiral of anxiety, we tend to create negative pictures (the airport is going to be so overcrowded, that party will be too loud) and use words that simply aren’t true (hellish, nightmare, chaos, disaster),’ says Marisa. ‘Thinking this way can almost see it become a self-fulfilling prophecy, so try to use more positive words to send the right signals to your mind. Instead of, “It’s going to be a total nightmare,” think, “I have great coping skills” and visualise yourself being strong and resilient.’
DON’T WORRY ABOUT BEING WORRIED
Anxiety can be a vicious circle. Because it feels unpleasant, we then get anxious about being anxious. ‘Sometimes worrying is just what it is to be human,’ says Audrey. ‘Random thoughts often mean nothing and don’t need to be dwelled upon. Talking therapy can help you understand the vulnerabilities of being human and learn to be more comfortable
in your own skin.’
LEARN TO TOLERATE UNCERTAINTY
‘Intolerance of uncertainty is a large part of anxiety for many,’ says Rowan. ‘But it’s a part of life we have to deal with because bad things do happen, but fortunately very rarely. If we learn to ask whether problems are real or hypothetical, we can increase our tolerance of not knowing what will happen and lessen our need to worry about events that have not yet happened.’