Keep calm and Christmas on…
Fed up with being Santa’s little victim, Christabel Smith wonders if mindfulness will help her find calm amid the chaos
Finding peace amid the chaos
10 mins of yoga
Every year, as Christmas approaches, I promise myself that I will be calm and well organised. Yet inevitably, the seasonal avalanche sweeps me off my feet and on top of my usual work/family/ life balance (I like to pretend I have one), I transmogrify into a personal shopper, travel agent, head of entertainment and catering (also chef and kitchen porter), housekeeper and chambermaid, not to mention financial services agent as I work out how to handle all the bills.
For some reason, I find myself attempting to transform my terraced house into Downton Abbey. There are no dowager duchesses raising their brows if the silver is tarnished, but everyone has a deep-rooted expectation of what a ‘magical Christmas’ means and, like so many women, I feel personally responsible for delivering it.
If you’re catering for octogenarians whose dinner is ruined by the lack of ‘proper gravy’, or students likely to stage
GO with the flow
an Extinction Rebellion-style protest if their nut roast is contaminated by meat juice, or toddlers who’d rather have fish fingers and watch Baby Shark on your phone, that’s a huge heap of pressure.
Remembering previous tipping points, I vow this year will be different. After all, it’s my Christmas holiday, too. I resolve to be Santa’s little victim no longer, to find space for myself, time to read and watch the Strictly special, to practise yoga and appreciate every moment.
All I want for Christmas is mindfulness. ‘Good luck with that!’ I hear you cry.
THE GIFT OF GRATITUDE
Psychologists say that counting our blessings reduces stress and boosts our spirits. Apparently, it’s ‘the glue that keeps communities together’.
I tuck this excellent line away to use in case table talk turns to Brexit.
The advice is to log everything you’re grateful for in a journal before you go to sleep. I buy a notebook and pen, thinking,
‘Surely seven minutes of me-time is better than none?’
‘What better time than Christmas to say thank you for all my bounties?’
On a fresh page, I dutifully write: my family, health, the dogs. Then I freeze because I can’t conjure up anything else. Three isn’t enough! I’m nothing but an ungrateful wretch! Panicking, I turn to my phone. ‘What are you doing?’ my husband yawns. ‘Googling things to be grateful for,’ I confess. I realise how tragic that sounds, but at least it gives me another one for the list: the internet.
JUST 10 MINUTES…
Yoga, meditation and mindfulness teachers tell you to take just 10 minutes every day to focus on your breath. It’s said to quell anxiety and bring inner peace, even when the kids are playing ping-pong on your carefully laid table and you’ve found mouse droppings under the fridge. So I lie down on the sitting room floor and breeeeathe. This feels good. How many minutes have I done? Just two. I try to clear my mind and picture passing clouds, but it jumps around like a manic monkey and I find myself thinking: ‘What shall we eat on Boxing Day? Is there room for two more lasagnes in the freezer? Have I spent roughly the same on the kids? Why am I still worrying about their stocking fillers when they no longer believe in Santa?
The dog comes in to lick my face and I hear sniggering from my sons behind the door about ‘Mum being weird’. The doorbell rings with yet another delivery. I decide I don’t have the concentration to be centred in the centre of my chaotic household, so I get up and give in. I’ve managed seven minutes of me-time: surely that’s better than none?
MINDFUL MINCE-PIE EATING
This season, rather than treating the Christmas run-up as an all-you-can-eat banquet and ending up Santa-shaped in the New Year, I determine to eat mindfully, slowing down and savouring every morsel. The idea is to close off all other distractions, eat when you’re hungry and stop when you’re full.
I put this into play at a seasonal work gathering down the pub. I do my best to eat crisps with care, but the salt makes me thirsty and after a few Proseccos, all my mind is full of is getting a stuffed-crust pizza on the way home.
At a neighbour’s ‘drinks and nibbles’ the next evening, I chew my canapé 10 times, appreciating the subtle flavour of ready-made smoked salmon pâté and hoping I don’t look like a camel. Everyone else hoovers them down two at a time like Scooby Snacks, and before I know it, all the food’s gone. And at a family dinner, I take so long to finish my plate, the others stare at me, twitchy to clear the plates because they’re wanting to get on with pudding.
WALKING IN THE AIR?
The combination of log fires, central heating, excess food and booze plus a home full of guests make the benefits of getting out of the house a no-brainer.
Recalling previous years, when the family has been slumped so sleepily on the sofa that I’ve thought about checking the carbon monoxide monitor, I vow that this Christmas will see us striding out on healthy walks. After all, appreciating nature is a fundamental principle of mindfulness.
Undeterred by the drizzle and lack of interest from my nearest and dearest, I seize my moment. After a quick but satisfactorily smugness-inducing walk in the rain, I feel justified in running a hot bath, locking the door and reading my book. My peace-and-goodwill-to-all levels are quickly restored.
GO WITH THE FESTIVE FLOW
This year, I feel ready to have a Zen-inspired Christmas. I will let Trivial Pursuit rows wash over me, imagining similar spats in homes everywhere.
‘This will pass, they’ll be friends again by morning,’ I will chant silently.
I plan Christmas Day to be a happy time listening to carols in the kitchen and actively enjoying cutting crosses in the Brussels sprouts stalks. Mince pies will be warming in the oven and yes, darling son, I will make vegan ones, too.
Enjoying each and every bubble in my glass of fizz, I will look at my lot around the laden table and know I wouldn’t really swap our family Christmas for a beach retreat in Thailand. There’s magic in a mindful Christmas, but mindlessness and even ‘are you out of your mind?-ness’ can work just as well.
BE grateful ‘I eat mindfully, slowing down and savouring every morsel’ WALK in the air