The special moments that shaped my life
Presenter, author and former Bake Off winner Nadiya Hussain reveals what kindness means to her
Nadiya Hussain kicks off our kindness special with what being kind means to her
You’d be hard-pushed to find someone as genuinely lovely and kind as Nadiya Hussain. After first stealing our hearts when she won The Great British Bake
Off in 2015, Nadiya has since become one of the friendliest faces on both television and our bookshelves. ‘I do much more than wear my heart on my sleeve – I’m the kind of person who will give my heart away completely,’ says the 35-year-old mum of three. ‘This is not always a good thing as it means I don’t really have any boundaries. But sometimes I think, “What’s wrong with giving someone so much love and kindness that they don’t know what to do with it?” In these moments, I feel really connected to myself.’ And for Nadiya, moments of kindness have made her who she is today. Here she explains…
1 THE KINDEST PERSON I KNOW IS… my husband, Abdal. He’s so kind in such a quiet, understated way. He doesn’t shout about it and I think that’s the most beautiful way to be kind. We got married in a semi-arranged marriage and I moved from my home in Luton to live with him in Leeds. I really missed my little brother, who was around 10 at the time. As newlyweds we didn’t have much money, but when we went down to visit my family, Abdal disappeared to Argos and came out with an expensive toy, called a Roboraptor, that he’d bought for my brother. He’d saved up £100 to buy it! ‘I want to love whoever you love in the hope we can have that love someday too,’ he said. He knew that by being kind to my brother, he was being kind to me. I knew in that moment that Abdal was a keeper, and he has amazed me with his kindness ever since.
2 A STRANGER SHOWED ME KINDNESS WHEN… my eldest son, Musa, was nine months old, and I was heavily pregnant with my second, Dawud.
I waddled to the local greengrocers, carrying Musa on my hip, because his buggy was broken and he refused to wear shoes. I had just wanted to pick up a few bits, but ended up with six bags of heavy vegetables. It was only about 200 yards to my house, but I was really struggling and I put the shopping bags down and cried. I felt so lonely without my family and I had lost touch with my friends, and it all hit me. As I cried, an old man emerged from the mosque around the corner, picked up my bags and held Musa’s hand to ease some of the weight off my hips. He walked me to my house, and put all the bags inside for me – then he just walked away. I don’t think I ever saw him again.
3 I’LL ALWAYS REMEMBER KINDNESS FROM… the broadcaster Zoe Ball. When I was just starting out in my TV career I worked with Zoe on The Big Family Cooking Showdown; I kept forgetting my lines and she took me to one side and said, ‘You know, I get lines wrong all the time.’ I hadn’t heard her get any lines wrong so I didn’t believe her, but I could have sworn the next line she read, she got wrong deliberately just to make me feel better. That gave me confidence and made me feel so good – I thought, if even Zoe Ball can get it wrong, then I can, too. She has such a lovely heart, and she made me feel okay in a world that didn’t feel like mine.
4 I TEACH MY CHILDREN TO BE KIND BY… caring for our animals. We have a rabbit, cat, four chickens, a tortoise and a budgie and the house rule is no one eats until the animals eat. I tell my children that if we don’t feed the animals or look after them, then they will die. I sometimes worry that we’re raising a generation of children who only care about themselves. Having animals helps them show kindness to something that needs them.
5 I LEARNED KINDNESS FROM… my dad. He’s from Bangladesh, which is a country stricken by poverty. There’s a strong class system there, and an unspoken rule that the people who work for you sit on the floor and not at the table. I remember a time when we were visiting and the lady who had cooked for us instinctively sat on the floor. My dad said, ‘Please sit at the table, you’re no different to me just because you work here.’ No one had ever said this to her before and she cried and said, ‘It’s not right, I can’t do it, it’s not allowed.’ My dad said if she didn’t sit at the table, he would sit on the floor. She still wouldn’t sit with us, so he joined her to eat on the floor.
6 I TRY TO BE KIND TO MYSELF BY… not letting myself feel guilty about everything. Just this morning, I started feeling the guilt creep in because I was working and my kids are on their holidays. I remind myself I shouldn’t feel guilty for doing something I love. I tell myself that I’m only human. The guilt hasn’t gone away completely, but I’m definitely becoming better at managing it.
7 I SHOW KINDNESS BY… cooking! Food is my way of sharing compassion and kindness. During lockdown, I connected with my neighbours in a way I hadn’t done before, by leaving food parcels or doing food shopping for people who were isolating. You don’t even have to speak words; simply putting effort into making something for someone else is a great act of kindness. • Nadiya Bakes (Michael Joseph) by Nadiya Hussain is out now. To try some of her delicious recipes, turn to page 102
‘I show kindness by cooking – food is my way of sharing compassion’