How to spot and avoid DATING SCAMS

Romance fraud has risen sharply since the start of the pandemic. What can you do to make sure you or someone you love doesn’t become a victim of this cruel crime?

However savvy you believe you are, it’s not as easy as you’d think to spot a criminal out to defraud you. This can be particularly true if you meet them through a dating site and have strong feelings for them even before you’ve met in real life. According to Action Fraud, lockdown and social distancing have fuelled a 40% rise in romance fraud, with the average loss to victims a staggering £10,000.

And with many victims too upset or embarrassed to come forward, these figures may not even tell the whole story – it’s been estimated that only 5% of cases are ever reported. But, as criminologist and forensic linguist Dr Elisabeth Carter explains, there is no blame on the victim. ‘Fraudsters are experts in using language to groom their target victim into thinking they are making good decisions.’

When librarian Sarah* met Tim*, an engineer, on Match, she had been a widow for three years. ‘He told me he was a widower with one daughter and a live-in nanny,’ she says. ‘It felt like we just connected. I was new to online dating and I was flattered.’ They emailed at first and then spoke on the phone, chatting for hours every day. Then, just before they were due to meet, Tim told her that he had to go to Malaysia for work. Three weeks later, seemingly distraught, he told her the building site he was working on had been closed due to a tax mix-up. He begged Sarah for help. Suspicious at first, she demanded proof of his story. He sent her copies of everything from his passport and bank statements to letters from the tax office in Malaysia. ‘It all proved to me that he was genuine,’ says Sarah, now 46. Convinced, she took out a bank loan

The average age of people losing money from romance fraud is 50**.

Anyone can become a victim of romance fraud; these criminals are increasingly sophisticated.

of £8,000. ‘Looking back, I just accepted anything in the hope that someone would want to be with me. We hadn’t met, but I felt like I was in a relationship with him.’

Two months later, Tim said he was coming back to the UK, but needed Sarah to receive some money into her account to help with the payment of his hotel bill and flight home. Then her bank called to say there had been a fraudulent transaction and they were closing her account to investigate. ‘I had no cash in the house and all my savings had gone on the loan payments,’ she says. When she eventually got hold of Tim, he told her he knew nothing and the line went dead. ‘It felt like someone had hit me in the stomach with a sledgehammer,’ says Sarah. ‘I never heard from him again. For a long time, I was too embarrassed to tell anyone,’ she admits. She still hasn’t told her family. ‘A couple of friends were very judgemental, but they didn’t see the evidence. They would have believed him, too.’

OUT OF LOVE AND OUT OF POCKET

Sarah’s story is all too common.

Lisa Mills, senior fraud manager at Victim Support, says: ‘These criminals are cunning, sophisticated and skilled at manipulation. It really could happen to anyone. Very often, people are in a bubble. They’re on a high because they are so convinced it’s genuine.’ Worryingly, more women and men in their 50s fall victim to romance fraud than any other age group, according to figures from Action Fraud, which also found that the older the victim, usually the higher the financial loss. ‘We’ve spoken to older customers who have been targeted through online gaming forums, where they form friendships with people with whom they regularly play games such as chess and backgammon,’ says Paul Pisano, UK financial crime director at Aviva. ‘Anyone can become a victim of fraud, but some will be targeted for specific reasons. Savings accounts and mortgage-free property assets, more common in the over-50s, are particularly attractive,’ says Dr Carter. ‘Whatever age you are, be vigilant and remain curious about conversations people have with you. Most importantly, do not let anyone isolate you from your friends and family – keep them involved and talk to them about the relationship.’