‘I want to make Christmas special for my children, like Mum did for me’
After losing her mum just before Christmas, festivities were overshadowed by grief for Hayley Forster, 38, from Leeds. But then two very special people came into her life and changed everything…
Stepping through our front door after school, I’d be greeted with the smell of freshly baked shortbread wafting through the hallway. Every year, the school holidays would begin this way, with my mum, Virginia, devoting hours to baking dozens of biscuits and always making the Christmas break so special.
With my dad, Alvin, still at work, Mum would enlist help from me and my sister, Kelly, to wrap his presents, taking it in turns to cut the tape and fold the paper.
Afterwards, the three of us would curl up on the sofa and watch Home Alone, with freshly baked biscuits in hand. Before Christmas Day, Mum would present us with brand-new pyjamas.
We never celebrated with grand gestures; it was small moments, such as baking together, that we cherished so much, especially since the rarity of these times made them all the more precious.
Mum had battled with Crohn’s disease throughout my childhood and spent regular stints in hospital, often suffering from major complications. But Mum was incredibly brave and somehow she always pulled through.
But in December 1997, when I was 13, Mum suffered a heart attack and was rushed into hospital. ‘We’ll get your mum home for Christmas,’ doctors comforted me. But despite their best efforts, Mum’s condition worsened, and she passed away three days before Christmas. We were all devastated. I remember feeling so lost without her that Christmas, and for years after, festivities just weren’t the same.
It wasn’t until I met my husband, Pete, when I was 17 and he was 19, and we had our daughters, Annabelle, now 10, and Poppy, eight, that I wanted to recreate the joy of Christmas for my little girls, just like Mum had done for me.
At first, I put too much pressure on myself, booking all the Christmas shows, but a few years ago, I realised that it was the small things that I treasured the most from my own childhood, so I began focusing on little traditions instead.
Nowadays, we bake shortbread and scones, just like I used to with Mum, and we’ll watch The Snowman on Christmas Eve. My girls never met my mum, but I make sure they know what a wonderful woman she was. For me, Christmas isn’t about lavish extravagances, but doing the things that matter with those you love.